Ramblings of Mine

Heheheheh.....

2011-04-21T01:16:00.003+08:00

SURPRISE SURPRISE

Guess what....I finally recalled my log in for my blog.
Anyway, the last time I posted my last entry was when I was 22 years old but guess what, I am 26 coming 27.

My gosh it has been 5 long years.
At the same time, not forgetting, I have been together with this beautiful girl for the past 5 years as well and today has got to be a special day for the both of us because no....we are not getting married....but its because, today marks our first time in our life to have such a long, which never felt like 5 years, endearing relationship that is still lasting till today.

I know both of us have grown up, no more NS, no more colourful hair but till today, this girl is as vibrant as her hair colour since the very day i met her.

Its quite amazing for me to say that, I have never felt so loved before, from the day, my dad passed away, to me losing my first job and now resigning my last job, you have always stood by me no matter what, ok some itsy bitsy hiccups here and there, but still you never failed to lecture me, sayang me, hold my hands, hug me and tell me I love you so much.

MY DEAREST MARINAH, THANK YOU FOR BEING THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED IN MY LIFE AND I WILL LOOK FORWARD TO BETTER DAYS WITH YOU IN THE FUTURE.

PS: I love you always.....

2008-02-13T17:07:00.002+08:00

I do know, there were times that I say the harshest words
I do know, there were million of times that i keep asking for a break up
I do know, I demand the craziest stuff
I do know, I always get myself into deep shit while you stick close to me
I do know, I can be the most short tempered jerk on earth
I do know, I expect too much from you

BUT I DO KNOW THAT

no matter what happens, YOU are the one, I want to meet
no matter what happens, YOU are the one, I want to spend time with.
no matter what happens, YOU are the one, I want to pamper
no matter what happens, YOU are the one, I need
no matter what happens, YOU are the one, I care most
no matter what happens, YOU are the one, I worry most
no matter what happens, YOU are the one, I want to hang out with
no matter what happens, YOU are the one, I want to smile with
no matter what happens, YOU are the one, I want to cuddle with
no matter what happens, YOU are the one, I want to save money with
no matter what happens, YOU are the one, I want to spend my holidays with
no matter what happens, YOU are the one, I want to love for as long as I can.

YOU MY DEAR BUNNY PRINCESS

2008-01-26T02:29:00.000+08:00

all i can say to you
all i can do for you
all i can show my appreciation
is to say a HUGE

THANK YOU

for standing by me
being there for me
calming me down
and lend me a helping hand

I LOVE YOU

you make my world a better place
you make me feel i am the best
you make me feel i am special
and most of all you make me feel
i am loved with care and concern
and you never fail to keep me warm
with your cuddly hugs
your sensational smell
yours eyes

YOU

2008-01-25T00:26:00.000+08:00

i hate the job
working hours suck
i put myself into lots of shit now
luckily i got my gf beside me
how lucky am i to have such a wonderful gf

i love you dear

2008-01-07T01:11:00.000+08:00

so i got a job with my former employer

should i be happy or i shouldn't
6 days job
11 to 9
Weekends burn
Thursday is my off day
work at millenia, food is so expensive
the nearest 7-11 don't even sell my favourite mint green tea.
job is repetitive

any way working there has been a good exposure, i have been praised a couple of times by customers as a very good patient salesman. furthermore they say i am very polite too. Impressive oral compliments would have prefer it if it was a testimony.

Overall i have to thank my GF all the time for making the effort to travel to my workplace and spend a short period of time with me. Though it was brief but i really enjoyed your lovely company. With these small short brief meetings, makes me desire to see you more often and if possible spend the whole night and day with you.

why why why why why why dear why are you so irresistible i can never have enough time with you. I wish the day was more than 24hours so that i truly enjoy your presence of love care and manjerness.

2007-12-25T03:05:00.000+08:00

THE COOLEST COUPLE

one owns a
while the other owns a

Though they live far away from each other doesn't mean they seldom meet one another.
One is a princess from the west while the other is the prince of the north
Together they head to the dungeons to listen to their favourite moans and cries of people.
There will be times where a little cute bodyguard who will pop by to overlook us

.
Yes! it's him, Mr PIPI on the lookout.

this is what happens when you are bored on Christmas eve and you have nothing to do.
All I can do is think about my lovely girl

2007-12-23T10:48:00.000+08:00

Life has turn for a better for me and i have to thank my lovely beloved gf who has always been there for me even though i am broke and useless. I got a job which will start on the 2nd of Jan. The employer also met to my request. I told him that i needed 600 bucks on the 17th and he agreed. Isn't it wonderful to have such nice employers.

any way went to the gig yesterday. It was hell boring for me but the place was awesome, finally a place we can called DIY AS FUCK. The venue was at this old shophouse warehouse place located at havelock road, though there was some difficulties heading to the place, we had lots of fun with our friends.

After the gig head down to Ah kong, our landing port after gigs. A gig without Ah kong can never be a gig. Head there had a huge meal of seafood and my standard meal 1/2 friend spring chicken with extra coleslaw. Sat there talked and drank baron which i had only one glass cause afraid might puke. Hanged out there till late and i send my lovely Gf back home.

I love it when my sayang gets all so cosy with me in the bus. I like it whenever she wakes up and see my face, she gives me the loveliest smile ever. Sweetheart oh sweetheart, some say the holiday period of a relationship usually happens for the first year of the relationship hahhahhaa ours is not a holiday period. ours is a perfect dream come through. Having the love of my life sitting, cuddling, hugging me every time. The feeling is utopia and i can't bear myself to not live without you.

Now i can't wait for monday where you my sayang will be taking care of me the whole day while i take care of you and manjer manjer you with my cat meows and little tickle on your cheeks. COME HERE DARLING I AM WAITING FOR YOU

2007-12-15T01:44:00.000+08:00

awesomely wonderful fucked up life in a materialistic world
millions of jobs available but none i can choose from
for i am such an idiotic lunatic jerky Dick

2007-12-14T23:26:00.000+08:00

FINALLY...............
MY DREAM PHONE HAS ARRIVED
Nokia 6500 slide was the phone i have been dreaming of ever since it was released in the market. Though it was lambasted to be a very normal and boring phone, to me it was the sleekness and style of the phone that caught my eye. the stainless steel cover built in with a 3.2MP Carl Zeiss camera. I couldn't resist

My princess bought for me a nice watch.

i doubt you can see it clearly but hey want to see it, check it out on the model's hand.

Any way, yes!!!! i got my pay already though it's not much but i managed to get myself a new phone, gave my parents a food treat at Ojolali. It's nice to see them all exuberant about having me to pay for their food. I love my family......

Now is back to the days of looking for a new job again......i know this process is painstaking, with so many jobs out there but you are just lacking the stupid skills and experience, you are just like a lame shit. With everyone of yours friends all getting a job and a gf who is job hopping, i feel like an idiot. I have been looking for jobs everywhere but apparently not many got back to me. I wonder why, is it because i am that stupid or i am totally hopeless. Still i always look ahead and always be positive but is hard to stay that way all the time.

My love life is totally wonderful with the princess forever loving me and yes i am sorry that i am such a terrible state, to be frank i feel stupid, i feel fat, i feel poor and totally hopeless but every time when i see you smile and you hug me real tight, i tell myself don't look down on myself both physically and mentally.

My princess also lost her phone recently and i am partly to be blame. Now you are getting a replacement phone and i cant chip in a single cent for you. Yes money is everything and love is money cause without money, love is just a dream where all you can do is wish but that wish can never come true.

Anyway my target is to get a job at least by the end of the month, if i can't get any job, i will just head back to V2 and start working there again selling handphones. Though the money and the working hours is crappy but hey at least there is money coming in. Yes at times there will be some stupid idiot who will make life difficult for you at work, but i feel that if you are not strong willed enough and you don't take the job seriously, you can never be satisfied with the job.

Haiz.....holidays coming but hey it will be a lonely event. Christmas alone at home while parents go malacca while my princess heads to Bintan with her family. So i just stay home and find more job opportunity for myself.

2007-11-23T17:53:00.000+08:00

so here i am at Starbucks, at Raffles Place opposite Lau Pa Sat. Before this, I was from office, my new HQ Office penning down the contract and yes finally, I have already committed myself to this company for 15mths. Though is quite a pretty long period of time and the pay is not that high but hey at least there is a start for me to start, clearing my debts and my savings for the future.

Apparently, this is what i plan during this 15 months, mingling among the teachers and try to understand their plight. so as to assist me in deciding whether i should head towards the education industry. Yes i do know of all the incentive of being a civil servant who carries a civil service card and gets a hell lots of privileges but there is uncertainty for myself because, this is not what i want to do but the wishes of my parents.

Relationship with my parents not that good, has got to be me everyday coming home late night after work and at the same time the constant swiping of my card on taxi. Haiz......Yes I know is my fault but hey coming home late, i just don't see a major prob. Is not like everyday i come back home drunk, puking, beating up people or making a din. I just do hope that at this period of time, i am enjoying my life with the love of my life.

You have got to be the best thing that has happen to me. No matter how many times i say it over and over again, it cannot compare how much i treasure you so much. A day without you, makes me feel awkward, lost and incomplete. You are the one whose smile are to live for. The constant mocking each other and cuddling on every ride, are things i want to do with you once i got a proper job. Furthermore, i want to have your hands on my shoulder while i drive, having to pick you up in a car and going shopping together and mocking at all the disgusting ugly teenagers though we too are not getting any more younger already.

Hhahhahaah though we have our differences, our different upbringing, i am not really bothered about it. Just as long as the person in your heart, in your mind and within your arms is me and not someone else will be much more than enough. I am loving every moment every minute with you........do you?

the true khairulnizam.........

2007-11-18T23:09:00.000+08:00

Lets see what lies behind all this fictions smile of mine
brain----pretends to have knowledge of everything but is actually empty
face -----i hate the outlook of my face, my stupid eyes which cant see for nuts, my ears half deaf
bod------just a pure load of lard with a huge tummy that can never be slimmed down, my chest is super shaggy which looks like a female's developing breast, my arms were never strong, i hate the whole of my freaking body which can never be proportional, i hate my dropping shoulders, i hate my skin at the back of my body which has lots of oils pores,I hate the lower part of my body.
bottoms my manhood is not big enough, i got a huge ass, my thighs are fat, my legs are weak,
i got varicose veins, i hate the black spots around my ass.
heart--- i am gutless, everyone thinks i am not emotional and a robot, i got low blood count

so you thought i was cool and fun loving and lots of confidence think again............

2007-10-29T02:25:00.000+08:00

i had a great time.
Did you?
Your Birthday, Jalan Raya
our love
can't wait for more activities to do together
Yes i am an idiot
to miss an awesome gig
right after i got my PINK IC
Yes i screwed up time and again
I just want to let you know
i can never get enough of you

you look gorgeous when we were together
the make up was just beautiful, not overly done
your dress was all so sweet and heavenly
your smile and your eyes just stole my eyes from me
you are an amazing women
yes you are
i fall in love with you time and again
well
i guess we will be having more fun in future
TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SPETEMBERS POST

2007-10-01T18:41:00.000+08:00

well... well....l i got to say September has got to be a roller coaster ride for me. I had to freaking drag myself to Pulau Tekong for a one week outfield camp which was a hell of a waste of time for me because i was practically doing nothing, all i can ever remember was sleeping in the afternoon waiting for my colleague to come back and after that it was break fast. Though the nights were not that boring, with the companion of all my colleagues from the pak ciks to the younger generation specialist having fun under the velvet sky. My gf was greatly missed because i was so used, having her beside me every night without fail, one week was quite torturous for me.

Any way, the whole exercise ended on my Birthday and that was super sucky cause from Pulau Tekong, we had to head back to Sembawang camp where i had to clear the rubbish and all the stores for the exercise. I asked my superiors whether it was possible for me to be dismissed early since it was my birthday as a privilege but apparently not. On that particular day was also the day which began the huge fight with my GF. Haiz.....it was sad that on my birthday itself i had to clear shit and fight with my GF. I look back and i do have to agree that my last year's birthday wasn't of a good timing except for my gf's celebration.

Any way i am quite glad that you have grown stronger after one week without me, i am proud of you and at the same time disappointed at myself for mistreating you like a doormat. I'm sorry that i took advantage of you, really sorry. I know i can be such a huge jerk and i don't manage my anger appropriately. I am trying my best to be better in that area alright. Any way i just want to let you know again that ONLY you are my BEST FRIEND, MY SAYANG, MY LOVER, MY SOUL and the ONE who deeply knows whats beckoning inside my head and my heart.

Nevertheless, the birthday party went extremely well. All thanks to MY SAYANG, NURIAHMAD(go figure out which couple this is and btw its official) and not forgetting those who came and send their well wishes. Guess i need to list them down if not some of you guys might feel left out... ok here it goes, YAN, YANA, MUHSIN and GAL, NAZ and FINA, ISKANDAR (OUR FUTURE HUSBAND),these are the people who attended the party next is for the well wishes, sorry if i did'nt reply your sms, JEREMY my cousin, FOXXY, RIDZWAN the clerk, IDAYU, my colleagues in camp and hahhaha the rest i am sorry i cannot remember already. The cake was awesome, the pizzas were abundant both vegetarian and meat eaters, the sparklers brought the child in all of us, you should see how all the guys were indulging themselves with the sparklers, the venue was really suitable for all of us to run amok and belittle ourselves. After botanical gardens, headed down to Marina Square for POOL session. HHAHHAHHA sad to say i beat all of them not because i was lucky or they gave chance to me but i was pretty good at the game. Birthday party this year has got to be the sweetest and now i am stress on how to celebrate my own GF's one.

so here i am at NUS library sitting next to my GF accompanying her to study for her exams while i blog and at the same time look for a job so that i can work after i ORD which is 18 days from today. So exciting, i cant wait for the day to come where i have no one to answer for except for my parents and my gf and at the same time start to earn more than just a mere $600 bucks every month. OH today is HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY...to all those adults who have a child in them hehheheh...... don't be afraid to release them once in a while to escape from the stress that you are exposed to.

Alright i am really out of words to type now but i want to wish all my friends all the best in their endeavors.

CLUBBING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-08-19T06:02:00.000+08:00

That has got to be the best clubbing night ever
with u
got to rekindle how we kissed in the club
though earlier on the music sucked you were totally mind blowing-ly hot
never had i thought that bringing a gf to club is as exciting as just now.
you changed my perception all thanks to your raunchy moves
and bootylicious moves that makes every guy in the club jealous.

you were pretty in the newly bought dress
your smile was outstanding even the moonlight was outshone
you have got to be the best and cutest women on earth and hehheeh vice versa
thank you my love
thank you so much

ps... couldn't wait to express my feelings that is why is done 6.00am and i just got home.....

2007-08-13T21:46:00.000+08:00

guess what....
every relationship has it's own ups and downs
when i am down, i say the meanest things

but now i want to retract whatever i have just posted a few weeks ago
i want to apologize to all the women in the world for generalizing
i do know of women who can be the sweetest being of earth and no matter what happen still be the sweetest women of earth.

i love you so much baby.....
i just want you to be mine thats all
i don't like to see you smiling so happily with other guys(ok i am selfish)
furthermore it pains me to see some guys having so much fun with you

yes call me selfish
call me possesive
yes i admit i am becoming one
but i am trying my best to be flexible
please help me my love
help me sayang.....

2007-08-05T08:12:00.000+08:00

well apparently women are an ass
attention seeking creatures who likes to grab
every single attention from every guy in this world

it's so sad that at the end of the day the BF's attention
is vast less important compared to the friend's
getting every guy to miss them is a must.
this feeling of being missed by these guys is what makes them more eccentric

they hang out with your friends, they sulk and get bored easily
but once they happen to see a friend of their's
they will blast off in a speed of lightning
even if the friend is like in a mist of crowd

they always try "very hard" to curb their urges and habit
but for guys a harsh stop means don't do it.
they always threaten and say you don't love them
if guys don't allow them to do something
guess yes i don't at all

gave them so much and yet
they like to step over your head
especially MY FUCKING HEAD
you cross my line....i had enough

my trust for you is depleting

2007-07-22T23:40:00.000+08:00

MOOD: TOP OF THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

is so amazing when one sacrifice leads to another's happiness
thank you so much
sorry for being a total jerk at times
but i can't help behaving that way

i use to not feel jealous but the longer i know you
is hard because i guess i am selfish
i just want you to have your happiness from me and only me

thank you so much!!!!!

work starts tomorrow
shit beginning shortly
suckers slackers
getting their monthly salary
and all they do is drink
7 cups of coffee everyday

i love u !!!!
thank you for being mine....

2007-07-22T12:15:00.000+08:00

low morale
poor pathetic lost indecisive
or maybe i am tired

i can't even figure out why am i this way

2007-07-20T23:28:00.000+08:00

no understudy till 3 days before i ORD
another 3 more months of pathetic work load
lesser spending time
edgy on the phone
i spend time with my family
i spend time with my friends
i stay home
i go out
i go work
i go have fun
i do work
i do nothing
i am smart
i am useless

thinking too much makes you grow old
wait hold on for a second
growing old makes you think more
not thinking too much makes me older
responsibilities abundant
what if i don't have any?
does that makes me less responsible?

i dunno life is in a mess
no motivation to work
i have my family to please
i have my friends to please
i have you to please
but do i please myself
have i ever please myself
is it good to be selfish

what do you think?

do i make you sick?

2007-07-15T09:49:00.000+08:00

have you ever been in love?
have you?
thats the question that i ask myself last time when i had all the short term relationship.
Although i was crazily in love with them, maybe that feeling was just puppy love.
NOW at this very moment, i have no doubt about the question.
Have i ever been in love? Yes i am currently in love with the most loveliest women on earth.

Why do i love her so much.....

she is extremely sweet and beautiful
her smile is endearing
she brings comfort to my heart
your touch is warm
her eyes are out of the world
your intelligence blasts my mind off
confidence oozing lady when you are outspoken
you're the master of patience

I LOVE YOU BABY......

2007-06-24T22:57:00.000+08:00

well...it has been really a roller-coaster ride for me for the past few weeks....
My band made it all the way up to KL for a gig, which was awesomely marvelous.
Great Kids, hospitality was awesome, great no 1 companion(you know who you are), great show which started late and yah most of all I was great. Hahhahhaha ok, mind the egoism, i need something that i can be proud of. Rush my way back to Singapore Monday morning so that i can presume my service to the nation.

At work received a call that my uncle was dead at home. The news was from my own bro who discovered with together my family at his bed alone dead. I was shocked and lost. At that point of time, the one thing that came to my mind was the first time where my late uncle brought me and my mom to watch my first ever movie. It was at THE CATHAY and i remembered clearly it was Police Academy 3.

My late uncle was one of the two uncles that my bro's can relate easily. He was funny, very kental and was always looking out for his quite outcast nephews. We watch and discussed about soccer, played soccer at the beach, always giving us encouragement and giving us credit when we done something good. He was the uncle that we always eager to meet, when we are at his house. Now he is gone into ashes(the process was really really angry, it wasn't the person who was doing it because it was his job, but to the whoever who allowed such a practice.) Chinese new year, christmas will never be the same again.

fortunately, i had someone special who has been there for me all the time. Everytime i think of her, she just makes me smile and give me a reason to carry on. She has been with me for the past 14 months and i am very grateful for having you as my Gf.

Now for me is to decide what to do right after i complete my NS, i don't wish to be a bummer, i need money, i want to work and at the same time study. I need to kick start my this stupid brain of mine which has been stalled for coming to 2 years.

Hhahhha furthermore next month, most of us will be getting extra income, so hhehehhe i will be spending it i dunno on what but yah.....got to spend it wisely.....

2007-06-03T20:53:00.000+08:00

we never go out out together, you not interested in me but interested in your friend's band
I miss u dearly, i am so lost and there u are telling me you are bored when actually you are having fun enjoying the games while i am here stuck here alone in this stupid house ALL alone.

so now ur back home ask u to come online, you divert your attention to your writing, and have to obey what you say and i have to sayang you.

2007-05-26T10:33:00.000+08:00

Fuck lah you are sick you don't want to see a doctor
You are sick and still want to go out with your friends
with me you just need a companion who can sayang you and just be there for you.
You want to hang out with me but you are in the state of being dizziness
so am i selfish if i say ok to hang out with you,
am i right to send you back and make sure you reach home safely.
or wait am i suppose to not do anything and fucking shut up and don't bother

Sometimes in life is best we just fucking shut up and do your own fucking business
don't care what other people or feel and just do whatever you want to do.
If you do it on account of people, they will never ever remember the things you do ,when things all gone wrong. Sacrifices, everyone around you wants you to but when you do, they will expect you to do it again. One day, you decided not to and they start asking you why are you not doing it anymore,this totally sucks cause in the beginning i did it on my own account now is compulsory.

i am sometimes so just fucking lazy in life.
i rather be poor and just not think about all this stupidity thoughts
and just be obsessed with whether i can live tomorrow.
I just want to be obsessed with the basic needs of life and not this fucked up city mentality state.

never ever ever.....

2007-04-03T00:03:00.000+08:00

a few days ago
i said some really bad stuff to my GF
i know i am a J.E.R.K
but hey she knocked some sense into me
and have learnt my lesson

so here is to all you guys out there,
eh wait is for everyone who is reading this post.

read, capture it and keep it

Have you ever reach to the point where u think your partner is not doing any thing special?
Think again!!!!!
Go through the everyday motion of life
think carefully, who do you see?
what did he/she do?
did you feel happy with what's done?
does he/she ever complain about how tiring it is?

i realized that in a relationship, sometimes the special things that your partner do often
turns into a routine. this makes us forget that this special everyday routine makes the day a little bit special.
so my friends, don't ever tell your partner that they never do anything special cause without the everyday routine actions, you are just a lonesome kid in the middle of the desert playing with the thorns of the cactus.
hahhhhaa ok i don't get the whole idea of the desert but i guess it sound good so ya just whack.

baby
i am so
SORRY

any way today was exceptionally fantastic
sleepover at dorm yesterday, Monday on Leave
head down to Sentosa in the afternoon where we had
Luge, the Skyride and Underwater world.
honestly, from the day Underwater world started, it took me like
10 years of so to head there for a visit.
how surprisingly is that.
We checked out all the different marine life and was impressed with the display.
the only irritating fact was that there was too many foreigners visiting the place.
You have Koreans, Japanese, Americans, Indians and many more.
The place was packed jammed packed but the highlight of the visit was the feeding of Stingrays
one of the staff there happened to be my School junior and he offered me free food so that i can feed the stingray and OMG....... i had a painful experience. I had my finger bitten. Maybe is because i held the meat wrongly and mind you i had to put my had under the water and slot the meat between my fingers and not just dangling it off your two fingers. Any way is the experience that matters and while the late Steve Irwin got stung by a sting ray i got bitten by a sting ray.

Ohh...before heading to Underwater world, we had fun at the luge and the skyride. the luge was a downhill slide where you can control your movement with the bar. it was really fun though i was too fat thats why you won my dear baby but nevertheless we enjoyed the mini adrenaline furthermore we manage to get another free ride all thanks to another junior of mine who was working at that station. hahhahhah i guess is good to have friends at such places. After the mini race, we took the skyride, is those type where ice skiers take and head up to the mountains to ski down but this time there is no ice for us to ski but the scenic view of Sentosa and being at the top of the world with my loved one was what it offered. hehhehehhe though it was scary but ya ehhehheheh it was worthwhile. I bet you don't know i was scared right.

haiz.... it was really fun filled afternoon but too bad time was never on our side and we had to head back to dorm and pack up cause i need to head home. Next time more people will come and we shall have a L1(Luge 1) race.

Thank you so much my dear baby the one whom i love.......

in a rush....

2007-03-07T22:14:00.000+08:00

This post shall be short and sweet cause i am in a rush.
while awaiting for my mp3 player to finish transferring my songs
i shall update u with my life.

i am still with my loveable baby Girl....Mar
i love her so much everyday also must meet....
i am now in the midst of having exercise for the next upcoming weeks
i kena 7 Xtra by my OC hahhahha pluz my WSM is going to give me another 3 more.

reached home around 9.30 and now i am going to head back to camp
tmr is my combat shoot...wish me luck and i will get 200 bucks.....

ok my mp3 player is done gtg....
love u marinah...
and all my frdssss take care....

fish in the pond pondering about the pond

2007-03-03T00:57:00.000+08:00

it was nice to be with you
it was great doing things together
it was nice to have your friends around
but when the time strike 11 and u chase me home
like a stray little dog
unwanted, so not needed
no sms from you
no call from you
no coaxing?
i need coaxing from you
cause from the day i was born i had no such privilege
you had your fair deal of pampering
y is it so difficult

work today sucks, left work at 5++
supposingly to wait for the trainees who are on exercise to head back to camp
return stores into my storeroom then i can leave but i didn't
y cause i cant wait to meet my GF
when they returned, superiors looking for me
i wasnt in camp and they got pissed off.
My OC is thinking of giving me 7 extra for going off.
which makes me wonder
when one does so many things alone for the benefit of others
praise and appreciation is not given
when one does one mistake
every deserving punishment in the book must be read out
haiz NS really sucks.....
7 more months and counting......

wah kao

2007-03-01T23:25:00.000+08:00

a few more weeks and is my LRI
dam it my accounts not updated
my stores not accounted yet

soon i will be having my Combat shoot
exercise is approaching
so many events
so many things
all done alone by one person
no motivation to work
no desire to learn
just wanna quickly get this over and done with.

ps: so i am tired and i still have to coax ppl

2007-02-18T13:31:00.000+08:00

Oh Oh Oh and not forgetting a got a FOSSIL Wallet from my GF
for Valentine's day
how cool is dat......

THANK YOU BABY!!!!!

eh alamak i posted before what she gave to me ah.....
paiseeh!!!!

2007-02-15T23:39:00.000+08:00

140207 has got to be the best Vday i ever had
all thanks to my lovely beautiful sexy baby dear
hehhehehe.....she was so lovely and sexy in that dress
i guess no one can ever mix both attributes as well as you dear

ok so it went like tis,
i was working on VDay and she was pissed with me
cause i didn't get at least a half day leave from work.
I AM SORRY DEAR but my superiors were not in a good mood dats y.
Initially, she wanted to pick me up from work and dat was a hindrance to my plan.
i wanted to get her a bouquet of tulips at the nearest shopping centre and i cracked my head to think of an excuse to drop by the area. Luckily, there was no need for that cause she was stuck at the blood donation centre due to the high volume of people donating.

i quickly left work and rush my way to the shopping center to get the flowers. After i ordered, i was asked to wait for about 15mins to collect my flowers , when i came back my flowers was not ready and there was a confusion of orders so i had to wait for another 15 to 20 mins for my flower. i was quite pissed off but i perservere for the sake of my lovely GF. While waiting, the lady kept on apologizing to me and letting me know she will make sure it will be very nice, indeed it was.

After collecting my flowers, i rushed to get a cab which was an ass cause it was peak period. The whole journey was even worst, the constant jam and the bloody slow dirver really got me on my nerve and with my GF becoming more impatience which i could understand her situation. i was really angry with myself and the things happening around me. Luckily there was the calming effect of the tulip where everytime i look at the flowers, i will just imagine how delighted my gf will look when she receives this bouquet.

i picked her up at heeren where she was at our friend's workplace. sitting there awaiting for me like a cute little rabbit awaiting for the owner. When she saw me and the bouquet of tulips in my hand, she took a deep breath and hugged me so tightly with all her might and love. She was ecstatic, i love the look in her face, the smile, the eyes and her hair was all so perfect dat day.

From heeren, we head down to clarke quay on foot and enjoyed our stroll down orchard, comparing and criticizing other bouquet of flowers. I got to admit that her flower is totally special cause everywhere u go is all roses, roses and roses, red ones to be exact. Hers was purple tulips hehhehhehhe and it was not too big and not too small.

when we reached clarke quay, the bungee area, we bought our tickets and lined up. Before our turn, was a bunch of FAT russian who had difficulties strapping up into the safety harness. When she saw the harness, she went berserk and started asking how is she going to take the ride with her skirt and also wit a camera attached onto one of the structure indecently, she was frantic and kept on apologizing to me. I was quite mad at her but i stayed calm and pushed dat matter aside and just let her get frantic while i just kept quiet and paid more attention to wats going to happen later in the ride.

When it was my turn, the staff there was talking to us and i told them i took this ride all for my Gf and i'm not a big fan of such ride. hahhhahhha i was pretty scared, and at that point of time there wasnt much crowd checking us, but once the ride was up and going, a prime time show became the hit of the town. up on the ride was this guy who was screaming his lungs out like a freaking 12 year old girl. The guy was scared shit of this ride, he felt as if his balls were about to come out from his mouth everytime the thing fell back down.

beside the guy, was the gf who was laughing at him and shouting at him not to scream like a girl but the guy was petrified and paid no attention to her until the ride ended hey were left stranded on air for a few seconds, thats where the guy wished her happy Valentines day and they hold hands with the GF EXCLAMING to the whole of CLARKE QUAY that the guy screamed like a girl.

After the rider, we watched the couple who jus finished the ride and was laughing at every moment. the on lookers were also laughing at how pathetic the guy was screaming like some sore loser. From there we made our way to central mall for a wonderful delicious meal at billy bomber where we got served with marvellous service courtesy of SIMON.

Hheheh after the meal, head straight back to dorm and the rest is wonderful quality time with each other and i reached home 3 waking up the next day at 7 to head down to work.

though it was an embarassing night, it was all for my beloved GF and i shall not be afraid to bear any embarassement for my GF.

BABY KAI LOVES BABY MAR

2007-02-14T00:20:00.000+08:00

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY MARMAR
and to all my friends out there
those who are single dont worry
your time will come
those attached dont spent too much
V day is just a "HALLMARK" day
is totally overated.

to my love
thank you for the gift, a wallet, a FOSSIL wallet.
i am sorry that you had to go thru the agony of buying me a leather one.
i am sorry but i really appreciate it.
tonight was fantastic, lots of laughter and hugs

hehehhe i cant wait for tmr after work.....
i will be spending an adrenalin night with you....
though i am chicken shit about this ride,
i guess for you i shall man this challenge with you

wat i want for Valentines day....

2007-02-11T17:04:00.000+08:00

hahhha this may sound very hahhhaha
but this is to easy facilitate someone
hehehehehehhehhehehehehhehehhehehhhehe

hmmm...
a semi accoustic guitar( coz u complain i suck so must train)
a nice sling bag
a watch
a wallet
a NK6233
a limpwrist TEE
a bermudas
would be nice
BUT
i prefer
lots of kisses
lots of hugs
lots of strolling, hand in hand
lots of smile
lots of winks
lots of criticism
lots of lame jokes
lots of food
ICE CREAMS
WAFFLES
CHOCOLATE
are the best
lots of time,
so that i can
spend more time with you.

2007-02-07T23:34:00.000+08:00

is just struck me in my head
smack in my face
stunned shocked
dat i am going to be

23

this year
thats how bloody old i will be
i still thought i was like 21

any way i am still loving my gf
i thank her for making me so unstable at times
and i prefer it this way rather than all smooth
system go i dunno where
i am still counting down the months
V day is coming and is going to scare my wits out
not coz of the time we going to spend or the money
we are going to lavish on each other
is just dat i promise her to take this ride
this adrenalin ride which i honestly speaking
dont have the guts to take it
but as a man
i shall "man" my words

2007-02-02T11:20:00.000+08:00

Just as things were going all so smoothly
another hiccup again
do i control the situation
or just dont bother

wats love all about
controlling or just do anything

Wonderful week.....

2007-02-01T23:39:00.001+08:00

This week was an awesome week......
The geeks from korea performed LIVE not once but twice
Yogyakarta performed together with them
we were complimented by them
I have something in common with Beyonce and Christina Aguilera, i have healthier looking nails all thanks to Dashing Diva
i manage to get out of the stupid mentality all thanks to my lovely GF
i love my GF
my gf Loves me
i go to work i siam
i want to keng coz i got another 8 more mths to go and i ORD oh.....
i am happy
i am satisfied now
i am going to think what i am going to do in my life.....

Thank You Mar Sayang....

Wonderful week.....

2007-02-01T23:39:00.000+08:00

2007-01-28T23:29:00.000+08:00

I am a failure

dats all

nothing in my 22 years of life have i achieved anything that is proud of

i am such a failure

yes i am

nothing in this world that you say will ever change my mind

i am a failure

yes kai is a failure

FULLSTOPPPP......

......tell me......

2007-01-20T18:15:00.000+08:00

are we living in a world full of conditions
do things happen unintentionally
are we contradicting what we say
do we really trust each other

so someone has offended you
someone has angered you
someone apologize
wat do you do
accept the apology and pretend nothing happened

SMILE MORE LET PPL THINK UR VERY HAPPY

2006-12-08T21:05:00.000+08:00

i just dont understand why ppl dont think of the future when something bad happen
instead they just blast someone about the past and question why things were not supposed to be

now after blasting me, hurting me with ur words, treated me like a punching bag for ur words to just vent ur anger i am supposed to pretend like nothing happened and start talking to you. I am so sad that such a thing happen. So what! u start praying 5 times a day, so wat! u got cancer, so wat! u got some funny stupid diease that ur suffering, so what! ur going to die, does it make any diff if u just blasted me about why i didnt do this didnt do that when we were supposed to think of the contigency plan.

crap!! Bullshit!!everybody is now thinking of themself, money, de-stressing with GFs, not letting u noe whats happening behind ur back, ARMY, family.

ppl just dont understand that we have so many superiors to satisfy and load to carry and live on to ur name. i think is all coming back, PPL JUST PRESUME ME THATS ALL.

2006-12-03T01:01:00.001+08:00

u pick on someone's mistake, does that mean u dont perform such mistakes?
u criticise others but are u having that additional feature others dont?
ur in a relationship and ur partner seems to be too good for the other but yet love him/her, how?
ur friend just passed away, what do you do to his handphone number?
ur angry and frustrated but u can't vent temper how?

many thoughts, i also dunno how.
11 mths to ORD and i am beginning to ponder about this future of mine.
relationship has last for 6 mths and still lasting.....
wonder how it feels to hit the 1 year anniversary

went back to skool to do a hosting job
got paid 200 bucks for only 4 hours
less familiar faces seen around
got criticise for being a racist
i really wonder which side i am racist towards with

not to say malays are stupid
but they just dont think of the words before they spit
racism, vulgarities and criticism
thats what most of them know
is this the modern generation of the malay society

crappy entry again and again
i just dunno how i could type out this whole stupid essay
if u think is nice if u think is morally correct
tag ur feelings on my pathetic board

ok this is the end of my entry
should i just type THE END or should i just close my window......

&^%$#@!@#$%^&

2006-11-10T00:28:00.000+08:00

Hi Guys, I just discovered Mr Brown Site and was laughing to thier feeds . Ok i can hear the callings of loser, kental, slow hahhhaha fine call me wat ever u want coz names are just names.

Hmmm something is bothering me and i dunno wat it is. Seriusly i feel weird and stupidly idiotic sometimes and i dunno wat it is. But sometimes i also feel that i am sick and tired of everything around me.

i dunno is like everyone around me depend on me so that they can move on with life. i dunno about myself. I now have a wonderful Gf, a Sgt now and a 22 year old adult but has things move on? have i become more matured? do i see things in a different perspective? am i successful? am i on the right path?

many questions, many pathetic questions of my life. I guess i didnt plan it well if u can say it. I dunno how to measure success in my life, i have no motivation in life, i have no goals, i dont have ambition. Everything for me, is just going with the flow. Maybe is this monotonous flow is not right for me........

dah lah malas ah i am super lazy ah to do things........

2006-10-27T23:40:00.000+08:00

These past few months has been an emotional roller coaster ride for me. The lost of my Grandfather, my dad being diagnosed for Colon Cancer, my brother irritating attidude and me being sick, just makes me wonder how life is so miserable. Though i shouldnt complain much because there might be someone who is in a severe situation than me, this cannot be helped due to the nature of where i am living and as a true, not proud Singaporean who complain every single minute of the day, i guess thats how i am going to be, for now.

Hmmm.....brief news about my Dad and his cancer. He went for an operation to remove a 7 by 11 CM long tumour on his lower part of his colon located nearby his appendicts. It was really painful to see him suffer in pain and also with his family members which are my uncles and aunties still fighting over pride, money and alliances among themselves,is really disheartening i guess for my dad too. Thankfully my Mom's family stood by the family and gave us heart warming, encouraging words.

Last week, we went for his scheduled appointment, the one we have been anxiously waiting for. Is during this consultation than the doctor would inform us what stage my Dad cancer would be. Thankfully, the results out and he has Stage 3 cancer but he needs to go for Cancer treatment which would range from Chemo-therapy or just oral taking pills. This would onli be finalised on the 7th Nov but dam i've got duty on that day. haiz........

These few days too have been quite bad for me. i have not been feeling well, dunno y, maybe is either i have a weak immune system of wait maybe i haven been eating much rice. Hhahaha oh yesss....ever since i finish puasa, i had difficulties eating rice
so every day my diet would be just meat and vegetables. Kool ah....

Hah! and another big news that saddens me worst is my band. I can officially consider that is disbanded and given up hope in trying to get the band to jam. Sometimes, human beings are contradicting creatures that potray one and be another one. Human beings too cant just put aside whatever differences and work togther towards a common goal.....haiz guess no more gigs for me....no more weird costumes and no more naked butts......

Ok for the better things in Life, 1st would be my ever loving GF. She gave me a 2GB Creative Zen Vplus. This was my belated Bday Present and i really liked it alot....though i was kinda angry that she bought something expensive for me but upon looking at it i told myself this was a gem dat i must keep and treasure like the person herself. Ok now for her Bday which was on the 22nd Oct, i brought her to Mount Faber and we took a Cable Car ride to Sentosa and back. The view was filled lights of the surrounding buildings which was quite nice.

Honestly speaking i am kinda disappointed at myself because i didnt get a cake for her which i wanted to and also i wanted to do Fine Dinning with her in the cable car but in the end nothing, it was all down to just that simple ride thats all. Haiz, it seems like i cannot make things wonderful for her though she never complains about it and with her constant praise about the whole thing i just think that sometimes i was never good enough for her or maybe with her Xbfs.

Oh and to annouce to the whole world, the army personnel now address me as SGT KHAIRUL hahhahhah......i am a 3SG now. So with the power of a 3SG which is extremely mini i seize the power and apply it to those who are vulnerable and weaker than me in terms of rank hahhahah here i come.........beware of the 3SGT Crazy but in love FeLLa

................Baby i miss you...............

2006-10-04T22:30:00.000+08:00

The time past slow

My body aches
This mind fickled
and the soul is castaway

Work accumulating
sense of ugency all gone
tmr going for outfield
will be back late in the night

two more days to see the one

my mesmerable lover
my sweetheart of mine

cant wait cant wait to spend time
peaceful and loving moments
with u Oh darling baby
my sayang

Hectic Mixed Emotions Week

2006-09-20T13:33:00.000+08:00

On the 18th of September, my ah gong passed away. He had a heart attack while he was at home. I was there seeing my Ah Gong heart beat dropped from 60 to 20 and 0. Though i was not close with him, the ppl around me were all teary but the most saddening part was that my Grandma was not able to see his heartbeat dropped. She was outside being console by our other relatives. She only got the news when my mom walked out and told her Mom, my grandma that Father is Gone. The look of my Grandma face was so sad that i too feel like crying but i hold back my tears.

the following day, i escape from sadness and meet up with my GF.....to celebrate my Bday. I knew she planned something but i told her dat i was not in the mood for any surprises so she told me her plans and i tried to make time for what she had planned for me. She picked me up with her close GF kiki where she brought me down to goodwood park hotel. Along the way in the cab, she showed me a video which u can view it here. It made me tear but i had to be strong and hold back my tears coz i dont like to cry infront of ppl cause is very embarrasing. Any way i didnt see that coming but it was really nice and i liked it.

At Goodwood Park Hotel, she ordered my fav cake which was Black Forest Cake. I like the black forest cake at Goodwood park hotel so she decided to get my cake from there. I was abit angry cause it would cost a bomb and i never had an expensive cake b4 which was inmaterial to me and also happy that she made an effort to go buy for me my fav cake which was mouth watering. From there we head down to Borders where i celebrated with my Close buddies, Ahmad, Yan GF and the Muh'S/Z'ins. It was realli nice to celebrate together with ur friends and forget wat happened. Later, we head down to Pizza Hut at Lucky Plaza and dine in for dinner. I was there non stopping critizing Syaf for her fetilized and fermentated milk. After dinner, they head home, my GF brought me to watch Movie the Pulse with her GF kiki.

The show was not scary at all but kiki was shocked and scared, she was literally screaming out of her seats due to the shocking part and also where the Ghost came crawling out from the washing machine.After the movie, went to her dorm to overnight there.

The next following days were spend at the wake, playing taiti. It was realli tiring because you had to entertain most of the visitors and also heheheh i brought my GF to the wake and introduction everyone to her. From my Grandma to my youngest cousin who commented that her hair got boogie hahhah which was cute. Her expression was also hahhhhaha, everytime i introduction her to one person of that table, she would like smile to everyone and shake everybody's hand hahahhaha so cute......

Any way now my mom and dad seen her and has no complains i guess i am on a ok path with her. The last day of the wake was the most saddest part of my life. This was my first time seeing a non muslim ceremony so it was eye opening and also saddening. When the body left the wake for church, my grandma wailed. It was the first time i see her wailed and i was beside her so the only thing i could do was hug her and console her. Later we had to trail the van which was carry the casket, during this trail, ppl start to cry again and my younger cousins were like crying so loudly my goodness my eyes start tearing....but with a few short deep breaths i manage to control them again. Now we were all heading to the crematorium.

i have never been to a crematroium b4 or never heard of wat and how things go by inside onli til this day where i found out how much sadness and pain are shelter in this well furbished "chalet". for the first time i get to see my Ah gong from with limbs and meat going to burned into ashes. Seeing him go thru down the aisle and with a door opening infront and when the oven door starts to open and u can see the fire burning inside, i was realli tearing in pain for my ah gong but i hold back my tears. Even in the muslim world no matter how close dat deceased person u are with hold back ur tears dont let the deceased be sad and thats wat i did. After the whole thing my bro teared badly and i gave him a hug hehehehhehe.......

haiz....wat a week.....
but thank you everyone who wished me and those who i never replied i am so sorry
but most importantly i must thank
my love my baby for being there with me
and also for tolerating some of my stupid nonsense
i love you sayang from the bottom of my heart

ps:if my spelling or grammar sucks to the max thank you very much for picking up my mistakes.

33 THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO DO WITH YOU

2006-09-05T00:49:00.000+08:00

Marinah baby dear!!!!
The 33 things that i would like to do with you.
Present
1. Hold your hands
2. Kiss your lips
3. Let you rest your shoulder on me
4. Hug you
5. Comb your hair
6. Smell you
7. Hang out with you
8. Share an ice-cream with you
9. Make your head spin
10. Shopping together
11. Chatting on the phone

Working Adults
12. Pick you up from work in a Car
13. Comment on your cooking
14. Bring you on a romantic cruise
15. Send flowers to your office on special occasions
16. Have Dinner with our parents
17. Share the same bed with you to sleep
18. Make breakfast for each other
19. Reminding you not to work too hard and dont neglect your health
20. Caring for juniors of you and me
21. Volunteers at House of Rabbit on Sunday Morning
22. Exercising with you

Golden Years
23. Admiring our grown up children together
24. Cuddling with our grandsons
25. Picnic at all our "PAH TOH" sites during our younger days
26. Lazing at Home with you beside me
27. Own big backyard for our rabbits to run around
28. Walk down botanical gardens with you
29. Looking back our memories through our photos
30. Share our special moments to our GrandChildren
31. Walk down the beach with you in my arms side by side
32. Supporting each other while walking
33. Dying together

I LOVE YOU SAYANG........

something

2006-08-30T15:51:00.000+08:00

something is repeating again in this moment of life
i shall not say it
i shall not discussed it
but the feeling is so strong
it seems like history is repeating itself
should i be angry or should i be sad
or should i just dont bother and forget about it

I love you lah...but got ppl kapoh kapoh

2006-08-27T22:44:00.001+08:00

Thank you everyone for checking this seldom updated blog of mine.
At the moment i am kinda busy and also i dont have much time to blog.
Even if i have, i dont know what to blog too cause i am lost of words.

any way the only thing that is irritating me is my neightbour of mine.
She is an old lady that has 5 children but her 2 sons have not married yet.
Both of them might wanna be single for the rest of thier life.
Recently she has been seeing my GF and i tell u she made a big HOO HAA to my mom.
The first time she revealed to my mom dat she saw me with my GF.
i tried to deny it but she kept insisting so i just kept quiet.
She say my GF was a chinese girl with coloured hair hahhahhah my mom heard dan my mom look at me but i just say dont have.

In the end she caught me red handed with my gf in my arms walking side by side so i just acknoledged her and not pretend that i never see her. Now she is telling everyone my neighbours that my GF is stayin at the same block with me 3 storey. Which is totally bullshit....

I really appreciate that she is happy for me but i wish that she keep her mouth to herself ah. I mean y must she make so much noise pass so much comments to other ppl. Now my mom is making noise at me cause everyone saw my gf but she haven see her yet.

ani way my gf is the best gf in the world cause she makes the effort to do things for me. From meeting me up after her school and even waiting for me for a few hours just to see me for a few mins

I LOVE YOU BABY MARINAH SWEET SAYANG ONE!!!

3 mths coming up......

2006-08-18T17:29:00.000+08:00

in 3 more days and our love would be 3 mths old.

btw i am tied up with IMF. I would be involve in the Pre-IMF preparation and that would be looking after the dunno how many fleet of BMW 7 series located at the designated location. It would be a total of 18 days of Shift duty from either 800 hrs till 2000hrs or 2000 hrs till 0800hrs.

This meant my saturdays and sundays would be burnt.This is a hell of sucky work cause i will be deprive of my Computer, My GF, My already less contact friends, you guys know who you are, my pillow which has something inside and my internet.

haiz furthermore i dont support the IMF event in Singapore and yet i am still helping out. My goodness this is what you really call lan lan suck thumb.

but looking on the bright side, the places that i will be located are nearby NUS. thats a good thing cause my Sweetheart Baby Pie is schooling there so TADA can drop by her school place but there is a problem and that is hahhahahaha i am broke. I think i really need to budget myself already and control what i am spending.

arghhhh i cant wait for IMF to finish so that i can move on with my life and spend more time with my dearie and my friends.......

and counting...

2006-07-31T23:51:00.001+08:00

two more days and she will be off to Australia for one week holiday.
i hope i will get thru this period.
We had a trial period last week where we did not meet for a week but yet we still contact each other but this time round there would be no form of communication at all.

Btw on sat where we met, we headed down to East Coast Park for the gathering organized by Clement which honestly i think it was crappy. No one brought food except for Mr Clementi and it was crappy. He just brought Kai Lan and nothing else. It was totally weird for a picnic gathering at east coast park. The people present was hafiz, irfan, shaiful, hamimah, jeremy my cousin, my baby and me.

after east coast park, we headed down to fort canning park where we hang out and enjoyed the nature. After dat we had dinner at Al Jilani dan we hung out at SMU. We kinda spend the whole night morning there. It was actualli quite fun and i watched a very tragic love story which was well-recomended by my Darling and i have to say it was good.

haiz.....now i am just thinking of the upcoming week where she will only be back on National Day.
Aiyah i wanna watch fireworks with her......

btw to my guy friends, dudez just because i got a Gf doesnt mean i forget u all. Is been awhile dat i last hang out with u all so please dont ever say i dah lain ah.....

2006-07-29T00:01:00.000+08:00

with so many problems surrounding us about relationships
i feel that i need to devote myself more to u
show u with more love and care
but how long do we have before u go overseas
and make me feel so lonely again for a long lonely one week
i noe this might be stupid or maybe common to some of my frds
that i am saying she is the one but i realli feel that she
SITI MARINAH the women now in my life
manjering, caring , loving me
is the women i am waiting for and shall keep her till as long as
god and our love permit.
baby baby how i wish we could grow up together and be sweetheart childhood lovers
so dat i will spend the whole lifetime with u by the countryside and enjoy the beauty of nature and simpleness of life

and guess wat i went for my friday prayer after a long time

wat more can i ask

2006-07-25T17:59:00.000+08:00

33 pieces of paper
=
a heart that is shared with kai & mar

i am actually exhilarated to post this entry that i tried to type many things many words many feelings for this entry but i realli dunno how to phrase it in the end. All i could come out was SITI MARINAH i am so deeply in love with you cause i never felt so much love before in my life.

tell me where can u find a girl like her..........
on Sunday she needed to apologize to me so she decided to meet up and i too had to leave the house coz i need to get the company stamp for the warranty card for my monitor which went berserk and couldnt work. We meet at city hall and headed to The Aldephi.

Outside the shopping center she gave me a heart shaped box filled with 33 pieces of paper which contains 33 different ways of how i cared about her. Hmm i dunno y 33 but yah 33 it was. With this 33 pieces of paper, i can assemble them into a shape of a heart and the end product is wat u see at the top. Not forgetting a colourful beanie teddy bear that she gave to me. i tried uploading the pics but guess blogger.com is facing some probs thus i am unable to upload the pictures.

On Monday, i had to send the monitor for a 1 to 1 exchange and she accompanied me. She from her house pick me up from my camp dan after dat head down to my house and wait for me downstairs while i brought the monitor down and she had a close brush with my Mom. We took a cab to and fro to sim lim and my house. I am so delighted that she accompany me for that few hours and yet she is already happy. we ended the night by hanging out at the park near my house where we were on the swing and challenging each other who is able to swing higher. Of coz she won coz hehehe i suck at it hahahah.....

today i supposed to have my surgery to remove the mole on my lip but in the end we didnt coz we had to fork ot $5oo bucks to pay for the surgery. Dam it they considered the mole on my lip as a cosmetic surgery. Like wat the hell!!!!!
I had to wait there for an hour or so where no one attended to us and also i was not informed wat was happening. All i could do was sit there at the couch and read the July edition of Newsweek. I was FLUSTERED and DEBILITATED (hehehehhe thanks baby) at the service. When i started to enquire about my status and wat was happening than i was ushered to a consultation room where there was a public relations officer who was realli sucky at talking but managed to cool the bomb ticking situation cause she was realli extremely soft spoken. She was going to refer us to the social welfare assistance to help us pay the fee which i think is an insult to me.

ani way i have decided not to remove the mole ani more.
and also here is a song(lyrics onli) dedicated to
my love my sayang my baby my angel my princess

Lying here with you,
Listening to the rain,
Smiling just to see, The smile upon your face,
These are the moments, I thank God that I'm alive,
These are the moments, I'll remember all my life,
I found all I've waited for,
And I could not ask for more.
Looking in your eyes,
Seeing all I need,
Everything you are, Is everything to me,
These are the moments, I know heaven must exist,
These are the moments, I know all I need is this,
I have all I've waited for,
And I could not ask for more.

Chorus:
I could not ask for more than this time together,
I could not ask for more than this time with you,
Every prayer has been answered,
Every dream I have's come true,
Yeah right here in this moment, Is right where I'm meant to be,
Here with you, Here with me. . .

These are the moments, I thank God that I'm alive,
These are the moments, I'll remember all my life,
I've got all I've waited for,
And I could not ask for more. . .

Chorus:
I could not ask for more than this time together,
I could not ask for more than this time with you,
Every prayer has been answered,
Every dream I have's come true,
And right here in this moment, Is right where I'm meant to be,
Here with you, Here with me. . .

I could not ask for more than the love you give me,
Cause it's all I've waited for . . .
And I could not ask for more,
I could not ask for more.

i am satisfied with wat i have my dear and thats having u as my lovely gf.

wat a gig.....

2006-07-23T01:59:00.000+08:00

today head down to substation for loudfest
line up was great on flyers but on the day itself one biggest disappointment
Recover didnt play for the gig coz shahran had to work
i was like so looking forward for a hell of a good time.
ani way went to the gig with my Boo
guess we had a great time together with her trying to pin me down.
she tried several times but to avail.

she had her pampers, she had everything she wanted.
i got to see idayu ahhaha which is surprising with her BF.
For me all i had was her and nothing else all i wanted to be with her
but on this night she said something dat broke my heart.

how could u say such thing......
it may not seems you dont mean it but infront of strangers
u just blabber words that make me wonder all these while
whether have i been taking care of you.

i am sad, i am heartbroken and i am disapponted.....

2006-07-22T13:20:00.000+08:00

though the family has some hiccups here and there for me
i am still very happy coz i found a gf whom i realli love and feel love
spending times on each others lap sleeping,
feeding each other with cakes,
sharing stories from anything under the sun,
listening to each other complaints about work and life
pampering one another with the cute funny noises,
walking hand in hand with you
enjoying the simplest form of relatinship
i just realli like it.

now i ask myself wat is love
and all i can think about is U

X@#!$%^&!@#$%^&

2006-07-18T10:57:00.000+08:00

i am so disappointed is the 2nd time my parents wrongly suspect me.

ytd i was realli tired and after eating i realli wanted to sleep but my mom told me to wait for my dad coz he wanted to talk to me about something. When he came back while eating he started by asking me how come i am back late ytd and is it a must to see my GF almost everyday( which in actual fact last week i onli like meet her twice onli on the weekdays). Than my dad told me that if i want a gf make sure the gf comes to the house and come not just when i am at home but even when i am not at home also must come.( i am like wat the hell)

Dan he ask me whether i was serious with my Gf. I told him i am not sure but is no harm trying to be serious with her than he kept quiet. He changed the topic. He talk about when he was young when he got no money wat he does and also like how he never get scolding from his mom which is my late Grandma whom i sayang most. Hmm than i was realli sleep but i controlled, dan all of a sudden my mom just step into the conversation and say than you still dont want to admit wat u have done. ( i was like WAT WAT WAT WAT). I replied i realli dunno wat u all are talking about but if ur talking about my Bro money stolen than is not me coz half of the money is taken by my youngest bro who was instructed by my mom to take money from him coz she didnt have the cash at dat point of time and also my bro came back late so my youngest bro just took the money from his pocket and with an intention to return it back when he received his pocket money from my mom. I was like i told them off, so now by saying this u all assume that i am the thief of this family ah.

My dad turned defensive while my mom just walked away to watch her TV. How could they just wrongly accuse the own son lor...frankly speaking yes i have been spending more money dan as usual and my income is lesser dan my bro and i never "contribute" much to the family in terms of cash, household chores and all the craps i use to do ah but come on ah i was like so for the family till the age of 21 now i am going to be 22 wanna have a start of my own life with my own love and here u are trying to accuse me.

haiz....everytime i tell them off nicely or argue back they sure to have something in mind to say. Yes i do agree with some of thier point but some points i beg to differ so y cant i voice out my own opinion. I just have to say dat my parents have never appreciated what the children done for the family.

I am so disappointed.

a day without news from her.....

2006-07-16T19:39:00.000+08:00

today has been quite a torturing day for me.....
we have not been contacting each other since the last msg which was 1330hrs.
is not we never contact each other but i dont want her to contact me coz she is in overseas and it will cost her quite a sum if we contact thus i told her to not sms me.

haiz i am lingering with nothing to do.....
facing the computer and checking my msn to see whether she is online.
OMG is onli a day is onli 24 hrs and i am like this

how am i going to last for a week when she will be at down under with her family
A week of no MSN ,7 days of no news, 168 hours of no contact, 10080 minutes of missing her real bad.

tmr is work day but i dont feel like working.
Tmr i need to head back to camp as a Corporal but i am not sewing my rank yet.
Should i get a rest after a hectic week last week to rest and spend time with my dear?

i will be missing u

2006-07-14T22:41:00.000+08:00

Markai never meet for two days markai gets so grumpy
Markai wishs that markai can never be seperated but thats impossible
Markai is going to Australia for a week and i dunno how lor.....
ani way i have given markai my orange Shirt for her to remember me when she is overseas.

how how how........

ytd markai met and lepak together at Suntec Fountain. hmmm i think we could lepak at somewhere more cosy but nvm. She was reading her story book while i was lying down on her. i just love to lie down on her n knowing that she will sayang me and also look out for me, the feeling is just so good and lovely.

from the fountain there, we head down to the sky garden heheehh dats where we were listening to her fav music and also currently my fav music and we started to kiss for the whole song. It make us feel as if we were some movie stars kissing on screen. hahhahha it was realli magnificient to be kissed in such a manner and ambience. It was a memorable event. The best was that she had caramel before we kissed and it like WOAHHHH enhancement....

dan later we head down to Baybeats. It was packed to the brim and i kinda hate the surroundings. We were literally counting the numbers of avenged sevenfold Tee and tell u wat is a tenfold of it.....The main reason y i was there was to see leaven trait and plain sunset. Hmmm i shall say the set was ok ah not dat power ah but wat to do....the stage is so far away. the crowd was realli looking for some cheap thrill and the security guys were realli rubbish. No moshing and no body surfing. actualli i kinda understand y they stop moshing and bodysurfing.

Moshing and Bodysurfing are actions that leads to happiness and smile but it seems like in Singapore ppl are moshing with anger and violence which is not the way to do it. I could see the face of anger and hate while ppl were moshing. But the extremely stupid and ridiculous thing happen to me. there was this kid who was in all black top and bottom and a red tie(typical MCR DUDE ) was moshing behind me. I dont consider it as moshing ah coz he was more like pushing me from the back.

He was like also shouting from the back FUCK U FUCK U all the way. I bet if he was the lead singer and his only vocubulary was fuck u, it would make quite a crappy good song cause he fit the words nicely into the melody. Ani way i am just proud that during baybeats markai feels confident and has no worries coz she feels she is well protected and look out. She was roaming around like nobody's business.

Ani way baybeats to me was cheap thrill for all these young kids were there just to fight and MOSH. I so just love our gigs. though the number is not as big as baybeats memories of NEXUS auditorium 2 years ago is still fresh in my mind. NOw i am looking forward for.....LOUDFEST hehehhe

and i miss u....

13/07/06

2006-07-13T20:23:00.000+08:00

Here i am today at my office blogging for the first time. Is 8.10pm and i am in camp doing my COS Duty. Today was a sucky day for me actualli not just today ah but the whole week ah. I now understand the meaning of backstabbers reall pain in my ass.

i recently kena backstab by a few ppl. So much for helping them out and in return i kena fuck in the ass.I just wonder how ppl can live in such an environment for more than 2 years.

i shall not go into details about wat has happen sekali i kena charged ah for wrongly accusing ppl ah which i dont wish to extend my freakign stay in the Army.

btw luckily there was a few moments of excitement for me coz i managed give my dearest a surprise visit. i was kinda feeling awkard and also tensed ah coz is not appropriate to be in uniform in CBD area.

Any way today had to return stores at ayer rajah camp but there wasnt any vehicel so i had to use the despatch vehicle to send me. But before sending me to Ayer rajah camp they had to go to a few places Mindef, Sispec and PLC than they sent me to Ayer Rajah.

After returning my stores, i requested to head back home myself cause they were going to continue despatching so tada dats when i decided to give her a surprise pop in at her work place with a small cup of mashed potato.

Ani way i left the camp at like 10 and i got back of camp around 3. It felt so good how i wish today i dont have duty ah and my day would be so much faster......

Btw baybeats is nearby Ahmad going??????

2006-07-11T23:22:00.000+08:00

how to not love her so much.......
though i kinda feel abit jealous about her manager but overall
tell me how not to love her so much when she remembers wat i have done for her.......this was extracted from her blog.......

have come to realize that i update this shit like monthly. hoho.
not that i bother anyway, if i have something to write about and if i feel like it then, voila!
work's been grrrrreat so far. and woohoo. they entered me in a barista competition which by the way, i was so against. anthony stole my ic, wrote down my name, took roy's handphone for my number and faxed the damn paper in before i could even scream his full name.
ANTHONY JASON watever.
ure lucky ure an expired product, anthony. not that u'll ever read this. one day i will put spin mix instead of vanilla in ure damn latte i make each morning. hehe. but anyways, i still love him.
oh oh!
let me relate to everyone now how sweeeeet my manager is. aside from the fact that he pays for my entries to clubs and stuffs, he buys me lunch, makes sure im not overworked (at times), helps me mop the floor when we do our closing together, coax me when i get slammed, calms me down when i get all gittery especially when a person comes in ordering 17 lattes. or when Clive comes for his medium cappucino. hohoho.
ok anyway, he plugged in his ipod shuffle and there was one song that i just loveedddddd. and me being the idiot who never ever listens to radio, have no idea what the title of the song was. on thursday i told him "eh roy sayang i like one song from ure ipod", to which he asked me "which?" and i just shrugged. on friday i had to stand by the espresso machine from 7am all the way til 5pm, due to roy's own bubbling incident *roar*, so i told them to play my cd and not change it til i left for home. Since roy was doing closing, i told him "eh dont change cd ok? cos tomorrow i'm working and i want to play this cd, thanks!" to which he just nodded.
the next morning i came, switched on the cd player, and asked another part timer if they changed the cd inside and she said "no lah ure damn cd was playing the whole day and night" so yay, i pressed play and found that someone switched the cd. and when the next song played, it was the song that i was looking for in Roy's ipod! he actually burned me a cd, put it in the player before leaving the shop, knowing that i'll be the one switching the cd player on Saturday to surprise me.
so sweet rite.
yes i have the sweetest manager arounddddddddddd. and i luv him to bits and pieces.

ANYHOWS,
aside from roy, someone else is being ultra sweet to me as well. waited for me for 3 hrs to do closing, didnt even complain and could even tell me "dont rush, relax, just do ure work, i'll wait". 3 hours ok. he just sat outside my shop and waited. he even bought me the new L'arc en Ciel dvd Asian Tour 2005! the one i went for in japan. and he smses me every day to make my whole afternoon so much more bearable, my friends love him to bits cos he's just so funny, my maid loves him to bits cos she thinks he's cute, even my managers think he's adorable. he brushes my hair in front of everyone in the train, jumps off stage to give me a peck during his gig, he carried me on his shoulder when i told him i miss feeling like a 5yearold, he sits with me at a bay to sing songs and laugh the night long, he lets me sleep on his lap for 2 hrs while he strokes my hair, he took an mc from work just to spend one hour with me to send me to work, he makes the effort to talk instead of shouting or scolding, he makes me laugh, he tickles me all over, he listens to songs with me and sings along, he piggybacks me when i'm tired even though his leg was aching, he wrestles with me when i feel playful, he trusts me with my friends, and he manja-s me like there's no tomorrow.
:)

and yes, he makes me so very happy.
especially when he said i looked stunning.
thank you!

2006-07-09T12:31:00.000+08:00

ladies and gentleman
i got an announcement to make.........
i am a corporal already
i am have fallen in love twice with the same girl
i am not going to drink any more after the incident
y
coz i feel stupid for not being able to react to my surrounding, all i could do was just stoned.
i am enjoying my love of my life.
i miss my friends(when we going to lepak again)
i am handsome.
i am putting on weight.
and this is y i am so in love......

1st July

2006-07-02T20:58:00.000+08:00

is been a long break from clubbing so today decided to club with my baby. Expecting a big turnout but it was quite disappointing but nevertheless we still went with who was present. My Baby brought her close friend name kai also and i was with Gaint the Ivan.

we drank, we danced and in the end i got drunk
i went to club was to look after my baby but in the end she had to look after me. I was like puking on the floor inside and also near the emergency exit. I also puked on Ivan shirt and i am so so sorry about it.

i guess i puked about 8 to 10 times and it feel bad it is as if the whole stomach wants to force its way put of my throat and that sucks.Maybe because i drank too much and too hard too. My Baby says i drink like water hahhha which yah i think i drink dat way.

in the end i was well taken care of by my baby and also her friend kai. She was extremely sweet taking care of me and my baby. My baby too was gone and as usual SOOO her Self hehhehehe. We were dan transported to bras basah where we hang out with a few of our crusty punk friends who held ipod in thier hands and some woah woah handphones. So much for the Crustism.

we hang out at bras basah till we manage to get our first train and i send the girls home. My baby and i accompanied Kai to Boon Lay dan after dat i send my baby to her home. Before going home she wanted to sleep somewhere but not her home so we decided to sleep at chinese garden. She slept onli for about 2 hours and she was complimenting y i didnt move an inch to wake her up.

so after her sleep i send her back home and she was reluctant to let me in to her house because of the maid but dunno what strucked her mind she asked me in and introduced me to her maid. Her maid was pretty but not attractive to me cause my baby was super STUNNING. my Baby feed me alot of food at her house dan at around noon we made a move cause she was going to hang out with her friends.

On my way to the Mrt Station my dad called me to head down to eunos for a funeral. My auntie's mom which is my grandma but in law passed away . So imagine me from clubbing went to my Baby's house dan down to eunos i was like super extremely stinky and smelly. I was also dreading the smell of liqour from my breathe cause i will be meeting MUSLIMS uncles and aunties. If they smell, it would be nice to my status hahahahha

Luckily my breathe was ok with the help of clorets and also the food dat i ate at my baby's house.I spent the whole afternoon there and it was like really time wasting. i was really in a bad state cause my pants were like extremely dirty and my shirt stinks and my shoes and socks stick too cause i was puking and the puke got to my shoe.

overall i really enjoy my time though is was kinda sad cause many of them turn me down last minute but is still ok cause i got my BABY

wat do u think

2006-06-29T19:28:00.000+08:00

imagine u got a bf

who is controlled by the parents and cant go home back late often
whose freedom is within the hands of the parents
who is broke
who is boring
who doesnt know where to go and wat to do
who doesnt know wat to talk when on the phone
who doesnt stand up for himself
who is weak
who is emo

I......i......I.......i

2006-06-29T00:43:00.000+08:00

I am going to be 22 this year
I am now in NS and my unit is Sembawang camp
I am a Storeman but with a SGT rank, which i dunno when i will be getting
I get lots of shit there though not as bad, compared to my Course Mates(those who attended the same course as me to be a storeman with a SGT rank)
I am putting on weight and i am not making the effort to stop it
I am currently having a bad tiff with my family, it seems everything dat is wrong is due to me not playing my part in the family
I am really pathetic with my $350 pay
I got a GF now who is my BABY ANGEL and she owns a Square and a Bay in Singapore so go figure out whats her name
I am so proud of her and when ppl ask where is she from i reply with pride" SHE IS FROM NUS" hahahha
I know i am boasting but i never tot i could have a GF who is smarter than me.
I am still in a band called Yogyakarta and i am loving it.
I guess the ppl around me are mostly single while i am attached thus i am lucky that i have someone whom i can share my life with at the moment
I am so the IN LOVE....
I want you to dont stop remembering your friends and give them a hi when u see them online, along the road, or maybe dropped them an sms to tell them hey dont forget you got a friend who is willing to help you out and give you moral support to what ever you want to do.
I want to give all my readers a BIIIIIIIGGGGG HUGGGG and a bow for being kind and concern

thanks guys for checking my blog out.......

2006-04-09T01:10:00.000+08:00

u noe after finding out that ppl do still check my blog out i feel honourd. I guess i shall pull up my socks higher and make the effort to update my blog often.

Past few days i was chosen to represent the class to share with transport Specs to be, the supply specs, my instructors and the commanders of ALTI and STC fyi both are like LTC. During my speech i made a mistake. i was suppose to read a pat on the back but i got a lazy tongue and i accidently said a pat on the black. That phrase brought the whole dining hall into laughther. It was really embarassing though to made such a mistake infront of high Ranking officers.

Any way just found out my posting recently and yes i am posted to Sembawang camp. I guess is because of the history that my dad used to be in that camp aka TERROR CAMP due to is tough training regime. i feel that though is really great to be posted to that camp, i just dont like the assumption and the expectation that my instructors have on me. Is really great to see the people around me smiling cause is me who is assign to this camp and who will be working closely with but the expectations thay have on me, i am just afriad i might not be able to meet to thier expectations and will disappoint them.

hmm other than that i am having lots of mood swings for the pass few days or weeks ah i just dunno y i am experincing such setbacks ah which i kinda hate ah. I just find ppl around me just pure irritating ah sometimes, my parents, my brothers, my friends, and also i find myself irritating. though my friends, i might find u irritating is not that u done something wrong but is just dat i feel all of a sudden an irritation. I just dont know wats the main cause of it nevertherless dont worry i will still take u as my frds.

Any way lets see wat upcoming events i will be heading to........
Tues----->GiG XyX will be performing together with USA band
Wed-----> Zouk is been a long time since i last step in, wanna check it out & also a girl there
Thurs --->end of course activity held outside camp is some BBQ thingy at East coast Park
Fri ------->Good Friday might be dropping by school to hang out with Freshmen Orientation camp hahahha yes i have been reprimanded to like not go back there and move on with life ah but too bad i just cant resist the temptation of meeting old friends ah. But the only problem for this day would be DJ Tiesto who is coming down to MOS. HHAHHA though i am not a really big fan of trance i just like his music and yes my Army friends are heading down hehheehe so should i go skool or club i dunno........

lastly i would like to say a big thank u to all my friends who hav been reading my blog all this while and may ue be bless with all the lovely and great love and care from the people that u love.

haiz just missing school days

2006-04-02T22:01:00.000+08:00

i just browsed my friends photos and when i see his photos taken around school, it really brought back lots of memories of my school days. From the 1st day i went to Temasek Poly and made a milestone for myself hahhaha (wah so the beh paiseh) i really enjoyed myself during my 3 years stint there. Though there were a few hiccups here and there, i managed to overcome it during the 3 years. I just wish time can be rewind and i just run back to the past and just enjoy myself and the camps entertaining campus and the freshmens with my psychotic eccentric ideas just to make sure everyone feels good. Though i might not feel good in the end, at least i know i have made a difference in people's life. Haiz now the only people i have to entertain are people who are so lifeless emotional empty, why i say this cause everyone in camp is just wasting time and making sure that whatever task assign to them is done just to kill time. I am already in the 6th month in the Slavery and i begin to ask myself what is in there that would benefit me. I guess the only beneficial that the Slavery can provide is killing boredom. I seriously feel tired just waiting around and expecting things to happen.Why i cant make things happen is because there it so many higher authorities who are like in thier own world. Just because they have tons and tons of experience they rule the world.

Ever since wednesday night i got back from the place, i just feel shitty sitting in the pathetic class doing shit nothing and making shitty dreams in the afternoon like what the hell....i was too pissed off i guess i got really sick and yah i took two days MC. And since than my mood is swinging, one moment i can all be nice the next moment something furious is bothering me and i feel like blasting out and most of the time it happen at home. Had an outing with my kakis....ahmad, yan, nazmi, muhsin and fir.....hahahah most of us were in no mood. 3 of us me, ahmad and yan were like bothered by something but we just kept quiet and Nazmi and Mushin the bros tried thier very best to lighten the group. In the end we all had a great night, we all ended the night by watching Ultra violet at the new cathy which was like WOAH awesome and chic. we than became cam whores taking photos most of the time. Any way i have learnt a thing, if things are not going well for my friend i shall just grab famous amous choc cookies and ask him to consume it. That will make him lighter and be himself again.

overall i just have to say currently i just feel shitty about myself and the place where i am at. Am i going to turn into a heartless lifeless boring human during my these two years haiz....i really dunno.......no wonder i notice all my seniors are like not smiling as much as there use to be while in school i guess all thanks to the Slavery.

emotionally empty, boredom, moody, quiet, lifeless dats wat i am feeling................

i dunno wat headline to post

2006-03-12T01:06:00.000+08:00

suPPose to head down to suntec for IT show but guess wat i didnt coz i needed to catch up on my sleep. I only managed to get an hour of sleep after the exercise than we needed to get ready for breakfast than head back home. Slept the whole day at home but later had headache suppose to clean the house but had no mood ani way looking forward for sunday coz i will be heading for the gig at IJ hhheheh is going to be wild and fun.

is been a long time.....

2006-03-08T21:44:00.000+08:00

HeLLo friends is been a long time since my last entry and i would like to apologise to those who are looking forward for my next entry. hhhhhee so lets see wats the latest BIG happening......

i tried my VERY BEST and lots of courage to head down to Tampines Mall for the last day of Audition for Anugerah Skrin which was hosted by the local Malay Channel SURIA. I went there with one of my Close Friend who knows me since Primary School till now. Upon reaching there, i was nervous cause of the queue present so we decided to take a seat and check out the surrounding. While looking around i noticed a few of the guys around and i asked myself whether will i be like one one of them the typical Mat Look with Mat dressing from head to toe. After an hour or two of seating there, i told my friend i guess we shall scrape the idea ah and we left. HHAHAAH this was the 2nd event that we went together and it a was a fruitless attempt. The first was when we decided to head to the school library for blood donation. When we reached there and filled up the forms and went in for our screening, we were both rejected hhahah
coz my friends she was underweight while i was not allowed coz i was suspected to be a HepB carrier.

after dat went to celebrate my Buddy's Bday Ahmad.....hahahh we had a real good time together with the whole gang from the Superstar Fauzi to the Sispec warriors Azrian and Mushin.

The Following day i performed for a charity GIG to raise fund for a boy named sunny in Holland. My band we had a smashing good time performing and after the gig hehehhe i head down to MOS. HEHHEee yah and on dat day i met MAY the girl who i had a crush on, the first visit to MOS and i found out she was a friends friend of mine. I tot i had the chance in the world to get to know her better but i found out that she is getting married wah lau i tell u my heart just dropped. I was devastated didnt have the mood to dance any more so i left the club with my friend and head down to orchard to take the first train back home.

Hmmm not forgotting i met a friend whom i will always treasure till i get old coz u noe y she is the 1st person 1st friend who celebrated my bday and also sneak out the house just to celebrate my bday at esplanade. I will never forget the pink top she wore and also the bday cake she bought for me and also the area where we sat and spent our short period of time chatting with chewing gums hahaha.Ani way i decided to meet up with her coz is been a freaking freaking 2 years since we last met each other so yah we met. But hmm i have to admit i was shocked dat she had a BF already hehehhe and i felt abit jealous ah but i cant do anithing ppl move on with thier lifes.But it was nice seeing u and yah catching up with times dat we left behind. Hope to see u around again.

recently i went out with my Xgf Emy. i was the one who initiated the event, Dinner and sheesha. I dunno y i asked her out but yah it was realli exciting to see her again. But i was feeling uncertain cause my handphone was not with me and i was worried that she might just play me out but yah luckily she didnt and yah we had Dinner at ZAM ZAM restaurant which is well known for is Murtabak dan went fo SheeSha. This time round it sucked coz it was a realli giddy event. After smoking a few rounds i was like dizzy including EMY and yah when we about to leave i puked hhahahaha but luckily i did with discretion Dan we head home.

but the seriously unfortunate event was the raid of the camp i was at by Provorbs unit AKA Military Police. They were searching for phones dat had camera and also mp3 player and pornographic materials but they found none on me but the only prob was dat my phone contain Memory card and yes it is not allowed in ARMY. My phone was like confiscated for like 4days and yah i felt like some weirdo kid walking down the street without a phone hahahha

haiz and tmr i will be staying in camp till Sat morning dan after dat i will be headin down to suntec for The IT Show hhehehhe wanna join me? give me a call k...........

y do u like someone?

2006-02-03T23:43:00.000+08:00

i have been wondering y do ppl like someone?

is it coz they

are handsome/ pretty
loves the attention the other party gives
like the entertainment
want glamour
are desperate to be in the norm society
are able to accept the other side of the party
are able to mate with the other party
can connect mentally and spiritually
have the same interest in life
got nothing better else to do
want to feel the power of domination of the other sex
need money

i dunnno u give me your tots your ideas while i too start too wonder wats the point of liking here, liking there and being liked and yet feel so lonely in your heart......
Btw valentines gifts ideas
SEX
Wallet
Webcam
Perfume
Love
Emotion stableness
Long Hair
i dunno lah i list down the items just for fun like as if i would be celebrating the frightful day. I just dunno y i am feeling this way maybe coz of past history at around this period a year ago i was depressed i dunno wat the bull but yes lucky i got this blog to type out my wat ever bull i need to bull out......

Gong Xi Fa cai......

2006-01-29T11:07:00.000+08:00

this will be a very long holiday for me.....but trouble is lurking around me

My family now treats me as an enemy

ever since i got back from camp they have been bombarding me saying that the home has now turn to a hotel for me. I go out and come back as late as i want. I seldom do the household chores, i spend most of my time at home in front of the PC and i dont bother about the family matters any more. And every thing i say or do will be condem as if i have done a very wrong deed that stain the family name.

I just dunno wat to say or do. though i am trying to be as patience n let this period sail over, my heart will be the victim of emotion tragedy. Haiz.........

Next is about love......

i was just asking myself the wfor the past few weeks whether if u like a girl should u go all the way to help her. Should u sacriface urself just for her and in the end not get love back. Should we just do things and not expect any thing in return except for a thank you very much. Should we make so much effort to break up someone by touching the girls heart so that she can be with u. Or should u just let her free dont bother about her and just be close friends. Or should we not even meet at all. or worst still not declare your love to her at all....I just wonder y love sucks....y love is not as straightforward y ppl make love so difficult y do i suck in love

wat is love to me

wat is love

wat is to be loved

do u noe wats love

CHINESE NEW YEAR

2006-01-26T20:00:00.000+08:00

Hey Hey Hey i am out for my long super long enjoyable holiday......

ani way i guess next month will be a exciting pocket draining event i guess...

next month i got like 3 parties to attend on the Sat.....

Pre-Chinese New Year Celebration

Yasin

Grace

My is going to be exciting

Furthermore i will be celebrating Chinese New Year hahhaha

i dunno how much i will be colelcting but i guess

not as much as wat i got as a kid i guess.....

Any wa recently my Xgf just message me and she invited me to her

engagement wedding on the june which is still a long way to go but

still i was shocked to receive her message.Hmmm i still deciding whether i should or should not go coz if i go i dont think i know any one of her family members except her and she will be busy in the room My......And the next thing dats is bothering me if i were to go is whether i should go alone or bring a companion....

my wat a decision to make

TP Open House

2006-01-22T19:00:00.001+08:00

Hey I'm back again.....
ani way yesterday head down to Tp for the Open House. I was very disappointed with the whole event. The bands sucked, the security was a problem for me cause they didnt allow me to enter coz i did not have any bus pass. Any way in the end my friend managed to talk to the security guard to let us in. When the whole event started, i met lots of friends and yah chat talk n also met dat someone ah.

Any way i wanted to talk to her alot ah but like it seems dat her BF friends are like all lurking around me flirting with her is not a good thing to do. Thus i tried not to talk to her too much ah. Now u noe y i dont want to layan u so much ah.......but still is my fault ah. Ok back to the open house, the main event most of the crowd was waiting for the dance floor to start but it was like so late than it started. Also when the floor open, the music was onli for like 20min or so than the mass dance song started n that was the beginning of the end of Jam n Hop. Haiz any way i think i should just knock some sense into me n tell myself dat i am too old for all these ppl. When i was going around to look for ppl to dance, most of them were like so super young dan also got the presence of the MAT adik adik nak step abang abang......so the irritating.

Though the whole thing was disappointing, there was some great moments which was hilarous. There was a surprise host which was Flying dutchman n he conducted 2 game in which the 2nd game i managed to participate. The game was simple. My task was to be a comentator for a Malaysia cup final Between Singapore Pahang. Here comes the twist, i need to do it in Malay. The Main problem was dat my malay sucks to the max n the game was to make the crowd feel as if there was really a goal happening....Though it was tough but i managed to scrap thru but was not as popular as the countermate Sahfari. But still i made someone feel lonely so i need to APOLOGIZE TO DAT PERSON

SORRY

SORRY
SORRY

Today early in the morning i rush down to Dhoby ghuat to do my band recording. We Recorded three songs so that we can send overseas for a compilation of the Different band around the world. This compilation made me proud of the band coz there is only two asian bands involve which is one of them is my Band.....hahhahah i am so happy but i am broke.....

ani way i now cant wait to go club next month.......MOS wait for me
i am coming.....

MOS Outing....

2006-01-14T13:53:00.000+08:00

Woaa.....MOS yesterday was amazing...

Love the environment n the atmosphere. The velvet carpets at retro arena, Trance area was massive n comfortable to dance in the only problem i guess was the Rnb Area. Gosh the place was freaking pack hard to dance and with the surrounding fences entrance n exiting of the dance floor was a big headache.

Though it has some hitch i extremely enjoyed myself. Hmm manage to groove with a few girls but after dat they were all pulled away by thier frds. Ladies there were like mostly 20s so i kinda feel so the young esp when u got a botak head.

The was one particular girl which was the main attraction for me. Her name was May, met her in the RnB arena. She has a Malay Thai Chinese look n she was realli grooving real well. I managed to dance infront of her coz she was on the platform. She was kinda piss off while dancing coz of the constant pushing by the other dancers n she nearly fell on mi (how i wish i could grab her) but she didnt but my hands were already prepared to catch her if she fall. I managed to exchange smiles with her n also managed to exchange some talk but i sense she wasnt interested thus i too didnt want to pester her much. Pester i didnt but she got lots of different pest pestering her trying to take advantage with her n also trying to hook up with her . She was pestered by this indian Asshole so i exchange my spot for her so she can dance without being disturbed. The guy dan tried other means to get to her but too bad he had to go thru me. Even tried picking up a fight with me but too bad i know my game. There was also this guy who tried chatting her up n she was dam irritated n i told her to dance with mi so dat he will not disturb her n she danced with me for awhile n in the end the guy left. When she left the platform for a drink, we exchanged smiles and this time she initiated it. Didnnt know wat it meant but i continued to dance. After her drinks, she was nearby the platform but was waiting for her friend to lend her a hand but her friend was enjoying herself thus i initiated my hand and subsequently she wasnt particular about me accidently touching her. Actualli earlier on she didnt mind at all. Dan it was time for me to leave n i exchange goodbyes with her n my friends were expecting me to get her number but too bad i didnt felt of doing it coz i guess it does no good for me coz i will be staying in camp for like 5 days for the next 3 months and i dont think i have the time to get to know her.

overall it was a great event......
hope to go again.....

2006-01-11T18:47:00.000+08:00

HOW I WISH

Your image running thru my mind

Your heartwarming smile, your lovely eyes n your long silky hair

how i wish it touches my heart time n again

your frequent teases n your sarcastic laughs

Do u know u make life so fine

since the day we started chatting

you were the one i hope to be with

but guess time n faith was against me

you r in a relationship

disappointed n lonely i feel

but what matters most is dat ur happy

my love for u i'll keep in me

how i wish i can shower you with it

to the someone......

this one is for u.........

MY LOVELIFE

Well- liked i guess

sociable i am

many friends

many acquaintance

but true love not found yet

just all alone in this world of love

Many tries have led in vain

should i just try again

Guess i should guess i not

for is going to be a tiring job

what should i do with my lovelife

should i just be alone

all my life

Sometimes i wonder why i suck

when it comes to my lovelife

and why haven i found

the true right one yet

so that i will be

able to spend

the rest of

my life

with

i am back......

2006-01-11T18:29:00.000+08:00

HeLLo friends i am back in action....
Finally i've got a new PC n a faster internet connection
hmmm wanna check out my PC Specification?

is an

AMD processor
128mb PCI express Graphic card
512mb Ram
80Gb SATA hardisk
DVD r/rw

these are the main factors.....
aint it good Ahmad?

Any way like to give a big thanks to Ahmad for his consultation and also a big shout to all my fellow friends from everywhere around the world..... Any way my freedom i guess will be cut short till like onli this upcoming monday coz i will be staying in from Monday onwards. I will only be out on the weekends....haiz i noe all of u guys going to miss me rite......hahhahaa

Any way do feel free to sms mi msn mi or tag mi alright....

In The ArMy...

2005-11-19T13:25:00.000+08:00

i Guys I am back....but i am using my cousin's PC at my grandma place. Ani way is been a long time that i since last touch n feel n type so i am so totally lost but dat doesnt matter. Ani way for the past i dunno how many weeks i was in NS Pulau Tekong aka the land of the sins.....where vulgarities flew like how often the uncles and aunties at the market say Hi. At dat piece of land, mistakes and dust are always found by the instructors. While i was in the outside world, especially while working as a sales assistant, i had to obey the golden rule which was the customer was always right but in the army, the golden rule was the sergeants are always right. ok enugh about all the rules and regulations.

Life of NS.....here we go.....
(i shall not elaborate on them but here is a brief stufff......)

Lao Fu Zhi
Backstabbers
All talk but less action Fuckers
Lazy Bums
Slimmer (For ur info i think i lost alot....)
Less money
Less spending
Less Hair
Less Jamming
No girls
Sexually Deprived(hahaahha)
No Computer
Mentally Fucked
Confident

hahhahah thats the life of NS for u i shall not elaborate coz my cousin will soon be back and he will be using the PC once reaching here thus i cant type much. Ani way too all the wellwishes thank u very much for ur Concern n all also Slemat Hari Raya mAAF zahir dan batin
n yess i miss all of u.....
love u
to whoever u think i might love u
n take care to all who cared for me n esp those who stab mi.....

REST IN PEACE

2005-10-19T00:13:00.000+08:00

Dear Readers
This will be the last post till i get my new computer and my new internet connection. Furthermore, i will be going NS on Friday and i will be reporting at Pasir ris at 9.45am at Pasir Ris Bus interchange.

Any way tomorrow will be the day my internet connection will rest in peace n my half dead pc will finally have a new after life with a new owner which would be a 2nd Hand dealer for PCs. I would just like to thank all of u for reading all my post n tagging at my board. If u wish to contact me do feel free to sms me at 90274940 or u can email me at chadkaikai@hotmail.com

Yours Sincerely,
Khairulnizam (kaikai)

Piss off Mood swing......

2005-10-17T17:36:00.000+08:00

wats wrong with me

i am feeling so fuck up again

i tot i was fine but

here i am still stuck in some low self esteem bullshit

n with my mom non stop nagging

and the way she commands oh My it sounds like

i am one freaking Maid

GoSh is sucky to be a maid of the house

how i wish i can just get out of this shell

n just enjoy life to is best

without any restriction

y cant i just do dat

arghhhhhhh

dam it ah

memories are wonderful friendships are beautiful

2005-10-16T16:47:00.000+08:00

yesterday was a marvellous n memorial event
though somethings did not turn out as expected like jamming
it was stilll a great day.
though i was agitated wit the cancellation of the jamming session last minute
while i was on my way down to tampines it didnt affect my mood for dat day.
Met up with Ahmad, Muhsin n Nazmi at Bedok Interchange
from there we head down to Beach Road coz Muhsin wanted to purchase his Sand bad for his weapon support.

BEACH ROAD
i dispise going down to Beach road on a weekends. Since my NCC days till now i seriously despise going there for either window shopping or even purchasing Army stuff from there. The atmosphere there is great but is just dat u will get occasional stares by other ARMY boys who are there getting thier stuffs n also show off n making a mockery of those who are aint as fit or tough looking as them. Though i am someone with high self esteem n seriously confortable with my un appropriate n undesirable body i notice the eyes glaring at me n checking my body out n from afar starts pointing n whispering to the friends about it. Frankly speaking i rather u have the guts to come up to me n say wat u wanna say about me rather dan finger pointing n bitching about me. enugh about Army Boys sure u will get to hear from me soon......so after beach road, we head to our meeting point...Kembagan Station......

Kembagan MRT Station
We were half n hour early so the two army Boy Nazmi n Muhsin went for prayers at the nearby mosque while Ahmad n I sat at the stairs n started waiting for everyone to come. While waiting, we were also wondering where is this place Mak's place at....coz we never heard of such place b4. After a hours wait, finally everyone arrive n Fauzi n his GF arrive also n he was outstanding. His dressin was like woah...coz in all my years of going out with him, the onli time i went out with him when he wore glamourously was during Dinner n Dance. Dat too wasnt as outstanding as yesterday. N so we head down to Mak's place.

Mak's place
upon reaching there a group of mat motor gang also arrive at the same time n it was realli contradicting n saddening sight. Coz everyone is with a Minah....n the minahs dont dress appropriately with tattos on thier backs while the Mats have tatoo from neck to hands. These ppl they disgrace their own names. On their ICs they are proud to put our prophets Name but their attidude n way of live disgrace the name of our prophet. Though i am not trying to say dat all of us including me is an angel but at least the very most respect the month n dress up appropriately not scantily n not showing off ur tattoos n also ur diamond wannabe shining ear studs. Ani way managed to get our seats n we place our order n waited for our food n also for break Fast. I ate fish n chips n i should say it was not as nice as i expected coz the fish meat is too thin. dan there was a Belated Bday celebration for Yana n Muhsin (sispec) n also the unexpected was dat it was also a farewell cae for Ahmad n me. The cake was great though it was kinda too big n i had to take the biggest share of the cake coz everyone had a piece of cake n i tell u it was a huge one....but thanks for all the effort n the cake n the well wishes. I really appreciated it. After having our dinner, all of us head down to geylang Bazaar.

Geylang Bazaar
At the freaking pack bazaar with abundance of ppl n sometimes irritating ppl it was really a hassle walking around. And our superstar Fauzie is getting his newly acclaimed fame with ppl asking for his photos n autograph. Aniway after walking umpteen times around the bazaar it was time to head home but it was kinda too early for me so i suggested those who wanted to continue hanging out to head down to esplanade to chill. One main reason was to just get away from so many ppl n just be around Nature. Not dat i am a naturist or something like dat but i prefer just being there after the whole walk. In the end onli Me, Ahmad n Azrian was for the idea

Esplanade
Bought ourselves drinks, tidbits n chill out n talk about our memories of school n also what impression did we had on our first sight of each other n also the rest of the gang.It was kinda soul sharing session with some of us bringing out some old times events. it was realli kool realli enjoyable n i had a real good time which i think the rest too had a god time. Ani way we made a move at 2 n yes w had nightrider to bring us back home.

I reached home at 3 in the morning......

FINALLY......

2005-10-14T00:43:00.000+08:00

tonight was the first after a long period of confinment at home going out.

Chill out with my gang of Friends at Starbucks at Tampines Mall.

It was realli a great evening talking cork n also relating true stories

to my curious friends esp the one dat i had to translate everything in mandarin

dan she can understand wat i was trying to imply.

Any way Ahmad ur botak more shorter dan mine ahahaha ok good good

finally i get to see u botak n not have a culture shock when i go NS

Hmmm tonight was realli enjoyable n laughable with Naz n his exaggerated reactions n comments

while i was imparting my stories to them

Btw ppl who were together with us......

Fauzi n Curious Siti

Rahmat

Amy n GF n Pri 5 n Sec 1 sister

Nazmi

Ahmad

Finally i am out

Finally i get to meet my frds

Finally ahmad n i feel blended with Naz(soon with the rest)

Hmmmm

ani way these are the frds i need to plan out who to go out with next week.....

Nurain(Makan n chill)
Trena(Makan n chill)

Rachel(everything under the sun)

Hxc Kids (sara, XyX members)

Stacie n Yasin(everything under the sun n the moon)

Diyanah (if she wanna go out with mi)(Makan)

Nisa(Makan n Movie)

*Names mentioned above have no priorities

Ani way if u think ur name should be included do feel free to tag ur name n i will make time for u for this upcoming week.

just something inspirational about our world

2005-10-12T21:01:00.000+08:00

whats the world going to be

when peace is not what we see

fights taking place everywhere

our peace is taken too lightly

anger and hate is what all feels

life is full of negativity

we are born with a peaceful mind

why must we corrupt mankind

with violence preached all the time

wasted lives are sacrifaced

life is not as easy as it seems

why must we add more difficulties

torturing ourselves to insanity

confine within the living of suffering

eventually

the smell of hate will intoxicate the anger

n arouse the beast within us

This write up is about wat our world has become from a peaceful with just beautiful nature surrounding us, it has become more violent, more destructive towards nature n towards ourself. Everyday lives are lost with the help of modern technology of weapons n chemicals that are within our boudaries.The existence of human being will further deterioate cause hate and vengence is filled in our heads n mind not love n peace. Soon we will be living in a warzone of which we create ourselves so DO make a difference by forgiving those who have angered u n offended u n make this world a better place to live.

does Singapore TV onli cater to Chinese Speaking ppl?

2005-10-12T16:02:00.000+08:00

is realli freaking piss off to see channel U n Channel 8 coming up with so many fucking variety shows for entertainment. From Super Host to Finding historical sites in Singapore....fucking dam it onli Chinese speaking audience are interested is it? On Channel 5 hmmm lets see wat do we have.....some fucking boring sitcom show n yah some fucking american series dats is fucking bored. N whenever i change to Channel 8 or channel U there is non stop educational channel educating the youths on historical sites, games shows, n Talent searching shows. i do wonder is Singapore media just for the Chinese just because they are the majority?

Yesterday night i happen to switch channels n i saw this variety show. it's called get it right....the main motive of the show is to educate ppl on using proper mandarin n not using slang. If they are able to use these media to educate the mass y cant they use it to educate the english speaking on Singlish. There u go saying we must educate ppl not to use Singlish but there u are not making the effort to promote it.

any way today i have cut/shave my head n is freaking short. Hmmm i realli miss my long hair n i realli sayang my hair very much. Just now when i finish cutting my hair i manage to get a few strands of my hair n hold tight n close to my heart n drop it down to the floor. it was realli a heartfelt event for mi coz i dont think i will ever keep such long hair ani more coz i am going to be a TEACHER after NS. Hehheheheh ani way i also have photos to keep for reference heheheheh so yah....laugh n smile n touch my hair when u see mi next time coz is all short n sharpy now.....

HAPPY BDAY RUBEN.........

2005-10-11T18:30:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BDAY TO U RUBENAS.........

to those who are thinking who is rubenas, he is my bro my second youngest Bro.

Ani way i got tag board alrady.....do feel free to tag

no cost no hidden agenda just tag for free.....

hmmm lets see wat am i having for my Break Fast.

oh.....Fried spagetti n Rojak Bandung.....

My oh My dats so.....ok nvm

ani way i will blog later on

now onli brief blog

see ya later again.....

Heaps of Rubbish lies memories....

2005-10-10T21:04:00.000+08:00

while i was clearing my own stuff from my drawer i discovered a notepad n has a few scribbles of poems for my Xgf. I guess the poem or i should say write up coz it does not rhyme dat well is in collaboration for our upcoming 3rd month together but it didnt turn out dat well so i guess i never had the chance to let her read. Any way i shall share it with all my frds n if u think is nice do feel free to pass it on to soomeone u love.....

Two months gone in a swift of time

and here we are holding hands like there's no time

many obstacles we face ahead

quarrel will appear when we get agitate

that does not mean is the end of everything

but a true test for what we have given in

sacrifaces we made towards each other

the love we gave to one another

though jealousy arises all the time

making it our enemy of our life

but we will work together hand in hand

to get rid of this fella as quickly as we can

sorry if i make u teary when we are together

for all i know that is a tear of love from u

while i will still be here continue loving u

till i cant wake up to see the next morning dew

I think this write up was written while i was at work at OCBC......at dat point of time while i was free i keep thinking of writing such writings for her to keep but too bad she aint mine now so i guess i can rest now till the next lover arrives n i can crack my head to think of better writings ahead.

life is fragile

2005-10-08T01:08:00.000+08:00

just got back from hospital....
one of my cousin is realli sick
lets pray for her recovery
n yes may god bless u in the hereafter

to all those ppl i made promises today
i am so sorry i couldnt make it
n to Diyanah so sorry i cant give u any treat
coz tmr i have to go back to the hospital

HAPPY BDAY TO U DIYANAH

may u forever stay cute pretty n sweet

n may u forever remember the days

where u keep beating my hand til it was red

n also irritating me yet entertaining me

n finally all the best to ur relationship

may u be sayang by the one dat sayang u

just wondering.......

2005-10-07T00:12:00.000+08:00

After my dinner i sat down to watch this show on Channel U. The show was about finding your old Lovers n see how they are doing now. It was really a joyous yet teary event for many of us. N when i was watching i drift into my own world n wonder wat it would be if i was still 45 years old single n yah i participated in such a program to find all my all friends n lovers. Haaahahhaha i will surely cry leh......esp to see so many ppl so successful in life with family and kids. Although i dunno wat will happen to me 30years down the road but now as i look back at my memories n i think of my 1st GF dat i had to, the one dat i really love and yet i broke off with her in sec skool till the most recent one. I seriously find myself a failure in loving someone with all my heart. I dunno how n i dunno y but i seriously think i am the one who is the problem with the breakup. Though i have move on with life n forgotten about the incident, but when i think back it just felt that is just happen yesterday n all the remorse n regret i feel is so strong. To all those ppl whom i have loved once or express my love for u in any way i sincerely hope that u will forgive me and may u all have the greatest love n adventure in the upcoming years n even though time has past, events have been memories, in my heart there is still some love for u.......

Love is a strong word

it keeps two ppl together

it helps bring memories

it provides warmth n comfort

it creates joy n laughter

it creates a sense of well being

though i have expressed my words for u

it still lingers in my heart

for wat ever i say is true

times has past

relationships broken

communication gone

ur smile so wide

ur eyes so sparkling

ur hug so warmth

ur kisses so tender

buries deep down

into my heart n brain

whenever i express my love

for u

the cries u made

the pleads u beg

the hurt u suffer

the misery i offered

please forgive me

for i have done wrong

forget about mi

carry on living

while i turn over

into a new leaf

but u were there

once loved

n u will forever be

loved

this mini write up was

for all my Xgfs , future gfs n to my Wife

More pic of loudfest

2005-10-06T12:31:00.000+08:00

My Back View........ArGhhhh i see G String.....

is dat guy trying to grope my breast?

how do i look from the front n check out the bulge.....

Oh My God is dat a real Longkang or wat?
Finally a view of my G string Sexy ah....
Battle of sexiness N some free touchy session......

pictures all courtesy of Norman TSS

1st day of Fasting

2005-10-06T00:26:00.000+08:00

I guess it was a pretty smooth day for me today for fasting.

but the whole day i was irritated by my parents especially my mom

order mer to do so many chores for me to do as if i am like the maid of the house

had to do the prawns, fold the clothes( is like one week supply of clothes) bring in the clothes, wash the dishes, prepare the food for break Fast furthermore still ask mi to start packing the room. i was wondering how to pack when u got so many things dat u want to keep but i dunno which one is it. Furthermore i am like the onli one in the house working non stop. My Mom just sits outside watch TV n just cook dats all. in the evening she just sit infront of the tv an iron the clothes while i had to clear the whole kitchen for her.

wats worst is my mom keep nagging about my constant usage of the PC like hello i onli got like the 19th of this month to use after dat the service will be terminated so wats the big hooHaa and also i left how many days dan after dat i cant use the PC as much as now already cause i am in NS.

Haiz seriusly dont understand ah but wat ever it is i got a few photos from the gig on the 2nd Oct check mi out

See me at the side there with the bikini top i was preparing to strip down to my hot pants........

dats Me at the side again with Idli from secret 7.
For ur info the guy half naked is a prison warden aint he kool......

u see the guy in briefs? he is the masterhood of stripping naked. He occasionally stripped down to his briefs n run around half naked with briefs but we are still deciding to totally strip naked coz currently at the moment we are feel insecure with the length n the size of our penis.
BTW these are the brothers of the outrageous clan idli, Shai n Mie

Aniway there are many more pics dat i am awaiting for. But the one dat i hope to get is the one where someone will snap the pic of my G string hope i can get that are
HOPE U ENJOY THE PICS

pictures all courtesy of Clement the Punk

beginning of the fasting month

2005-10-04T22:24:00.000+08:00

ok tmr will be the 1st day of fasting which I am not really looking forward to it.
Coz during this month i have to be very busy coz i need to pack my house stuff to prepare for the house renovation which will be after HARI RAYA. Thus i will be the onli soul who will be doing the packing of the whole house. And furthermore is very sickening to pack half way n u cant decided which things are to throw or not coz it does not belongs to mi n have to keep asking my parents whether to keep it or not. Sometimes wat maybe thrash to mi is supposingly to be useful stuff for my parents which i hate that coz they dont use it at all n i still have to pack it. Also with this packing, i dont think i will have time to hang out or go out ith any of my friends. Haiz is realli sucky, b4 going NS ur just stuck at home with so many things to do all by urself dan once ur in NS there u go again doing the silliest stuff ever imagine. Aiyo y cant i just go out n enjoy n slack n sit ack n enjoy nature at it's fullest. Realli demoralising leh......

loudfest......a new level of insanity

2005-10-03T01:33:00.000+08:00

today had a gig at substation.

the gig suppose to start at 2 but yah somehow it got delayed n it started at 4

my band was the 4th band to perform for the gig so yah i came on time just to see the 3rd band finish off their 2nd last song.

Actualli is one of the best metalcore bands in Singapore ah DEAD by SIX though i onli listen to them at gigs but they never fail to make me headbang with such heavy grooves. though i dont realli like the vocs with high pitch (This is not a personal attack) which i rather have it with the heavy low growling tone i seriously like the sound. Any way once they finished their set it was time for thrashing dancing jumping sing along session with my band yogyakarta. i started of the set by taking out my top where i was wearing a Bikini top but as the sets get hotter with more ppl more energetic i strip down to my hot pants. it was mesmerizing intoxicating with all the girls eyes bugling at u n giggling at ur set, guys getting all touchy with ur ass comments flying around n yah GodFather was stripping down to his briefs again n idli from secret 7 half naked with a feathery shawl hahahahahha it was wild n mad n it seems dat we are in the gay party. There were some visitors who were supporting another band n never attended such gigs were totally amused n yah i really enjoyed the attention the eyes on u kinda stuff n ppl smiling at u. But the sad thing was i injured my leg during yesterday gig. i didnt know how i injured my feet but yah it was realli painful by the time i finished my set i was realli limping as if i sprain my ankle.

any way i am trying to get pics of myself for the gig n if all goes well i will post the link for u guys to check out how i look like

Hardcore is about how u potray urself is not about wat music u listen

............

2005-10-02T02:06:00.000+08:00

yesterday my bro went out for a gathering with all his former colleagues which is mine but the organizer never invite me so yah i didnt like the idea of gatecrashing such an event coz i am not the thick face after all although i have done many undesirable act in public but i onli do it in the name of fun n entertainment. Any way we left the house together with our parents assumption that we were out together but in real fact we were all on our own. My Bro headed down to Selegie while i was left with nothing to do n no one to hang out with so i decided to take a walk. i alighted at city hall n i walk the whole of the CBD area tilll i reach the Rainway train station decided to walk all the way till i almost reach Telok blangah dan i decided to stop n head back to city hall esplanade there. At esplanade, i just sat there alone n daze into the cloudy sky n the not attractive scenic dat every visitor assume dat is so attractive dat they have to take it as thier back ground. Ani way yah...i sat there all alone for like 2 hour or so n yah after dat decided to meet my bro at Selegie. So i from esplanade i walk all the way to selegie there. It was kinda near for mi ah but considering after walking like from city hall to Telok blangah n fro it was kinda tiring ah but it felt good. At selegie i watched my Godsister n my bro n one more of thier colleague played pool with two of my godsister friends ah. Sat there for like half n hour or so everyone wanted to go home so my bro n i walk back to city hall just to take a bus back home.

We Finally reached home n it was 5 in the morning.

today went to my cousin house for house warming at Jurong. I really like her house coz it is so simple n empty yet a classic design. though the house could not accomodate her uncles n aunties n her friends i guess it doesnt matter coz the house is very nice indeed. At her place one of my uncle Demostrated the Diamond water Fucking bullshit thing. It sounds so the amazingly like making ur facial better providing nutrients for the skin good for hair n food. Cook in food it will enhance the smell, soak fruits n veg in the water will make it more crunchy n fresher. to me is all bullshit. how enhance can food become, how does fruits get crunchier when wat u all consume is chemical chemical n more chemical. Wat u drink is chemical from mineral water where they assume is from the mountain of evain are just pure bullshit, Coke Pepsi sweet drinks all contain chemicals, the food u consume have insecticide, growth enhancement chemicals n not forgetting when u cook u use the teflon wok or non stick cooking materials to cook, the spatula u use is made of parts glue together, chances of glue melting n getting into ur food is so high so wat u talking about making things fresher. Or wait are we talking about longetivity? y the sudden obsession of all these ideas..making urself look good, eat healthy, drink pure good water.......wat the fucking bull....i guess this is the main reason dat ppl get so obsesse about but let mi ask u do u noe how long u will live, when will u die, when will u give birth? eat so healthy n yet get crush under the lorry wheel, eat so healthy n yet get struck by lightning hahahaah u see wat i mean...y eat so healthy n yet there are so many factors to consider to make u die so i dont understand the need n obsession of growing old n heathy.Ani way after dat i went off go the mini gig at beat merchant. it was realli as usual thrashing good energetic session where we excuted many moves but i needed to rush off after the mini gig to collect so barang barang from my Grandma house at Tanjong pagar. After collecting went home in the train i saw many malay tough guy with tattoos half colour unattractive tattoos using chinese ink n many types of guys dunno where they heading too but yah in my mind was the big deal about being a tough guy? the manly u are the more chicks u get to fuck hahaahh hello i can tell u one thing malays guys most of them are fucking dickless dont have the guts to approach a girl n also need to do things in a group not independant. Ok back to the topic y tough guy? y in the world do we need tough guy we keep emphasizing make peace not war if is peace y have tough guys y do we have tough guy like Mr Bush administration, y have tough guys trying to fight for pride, y have tough guys who are not tough but act tough y must we have such stupid idiots in our society n destroy the peace of our society by fighting n showing off who is more powerful stronger n mightier......fuck u tough guys.

finally i just have to say dat i hate my life rite now so much for being 21 when ur not even treated one. so much for the 21 years n couting of staying at home n listeining to PAPA MUMMY. Fucking fuck up.....y is life like dat where is the simplicity of life when someone reaches a age let him go..... where is the fun in life when all u do is work hard to get more n more money.....where is the love when love is all about possesion in life.....

COMFY FOR HORNY GIRLS UNCOMFY FOR HORNY GUYS(UNLESS UR GAY)

2005-09-30T15:01:00.000+08:00

Just put on my clothes to try out see whether i can fit in it n my was it outrageous n turn off.
had the bikini on
the hot pants
n
the G STRING

my i was ok with the hot pants n the bikini top
but the onli discomfort i had was the g-string
the G String is freesize
but i guess i am too big for it
n the line was so tight up my ass line......
n furthermore the front part was see thru with holes
n my balls feel so the itchy
if is ticklish i am ok but this is itchy

ani way i was just wondering how women will feel
when they put on the g string
imagine how much of pleasure it can give
to the lovely lips n the holy hole
with a pull of the string it slices sharply the lips into two
thus bringing tightness n pleasure between the lips
the sideways movement of the string
makes the lips seperated furthermore
making movement to the entrance of love
so wet n cumable

the higher the back in pulled
the deeper the line will venture
n eventually will reach the tip
of the entrance of love
teasing the tip with just dat line
makes one shiver n want more

for the BF all one need to do
is to lick the love hole
together with the G string
n using it as a weapon of
pleasure to satisfy the women
sometimes with the elasticity of the string
we can pull back n let go
give the hole a little tight sharp smack
moaning n breatheless
session i think it will give

this is just fictional n has nothing to do with true life encounter

if this were to happen i onli hope it will be true

coz i have never done tis b4

wat a exciting week ahead for mi

2005-09-30T01:40:00.000+08:00

1st i want to say my BIGGEST CONGRATULATIONS to MR FAUZI for claiming the 3rd position in Anugerah. Would like to wish him all the best for his future n may this be a platform for him to expand into a popular artist.Ani way when i was on my way back home from Mediacorp, memories of wat happen in skool just flashes n it was realli great to have such a friend like u ah.....ok enugh of him.

Just now i was like the hounding dog of the studio coz whenever it comes to cheering on my friend i will make the HOO HOO sound hahahahaa if u dunno how it sounds call mi i can give u a treat.......it was dam freaking loud n yah when i started doing it frequently, the other fans of the other idols started to follow me ah but hahahah hello i start first n i am the loudest k.....ani way yah my face was like printed on the screen a couple of time n i even had a close up view of my face n my mouth doing a kissing pose ahhahahahahahhah but never mind ani way yah today saw my idol in entertainment industry....Najip Ali (currently my idols are Gurmit, Najip n Kumar, i use to like Sheikh Haikel but yah he started his piercing ears n all crap i kinda like despise him already ah......) aok back to najip ali i just now manage to capture his attention n ask for a photo shoot with him after the whole show ended but haiz disappointingly my Digital camera malfunction n i was realli utterly disappointed.Ani way i guess i had lots of fun n yah did made a few heads turn towards my direction with all the sounds n remarks i made to the ppl on stage.

ani way the thing i am looking forward to will be this weekend this SUNDAY
is going to a a great kicking hell violent chaotic gig dat i am going to attend n perform b4 i go in NS
dats y i am trying to make a memorable event by dressing up. there was one night i was discussing with the grandpa jones of Hardcore( is a genre of music not porn) n stripping n he was asking me wat i will be wearing. I did not think of it till he pop up the question. Didnt had an idea till i tot of Jessica simpson n her rendition of these boots are made for walking. She was in this demin hot pants or Daisy as they call it n the finale part where she was in Bikini which gave me inspiration to wat to wear.

so i have decided n have already got my stuffs for sunday. i have to thank my ex Gf for lendin me her Bikini top. though is not the same as Jessica Simpson but is still striking. Ok i too got myself a hot pants but not the denim type one ah but the cloth material n according to my Xgf the length of the shorts is like to ur butt cheeks only which i think dats outregeous enugh n finally the icing of the topping, i will be wearing a colourful G string ahhahahaha i wonder how i feel on dat day.....a line between my arse.

ok ani way if u wanna see mi in the clothes i just mentioned do feel free to come down to substation this Sunday n yah see my band perform n also support the other bands too........ciao ciao ciao ciao n let me leave u with a quote which i just read dat makes me feel excited.......

The way that he parts the slices of the orange is the way that he'll part your thighs and lips,

if he takes care to remove each slice and gently sucks it into his mouth,

then he'll do the same to you, if he takes his time to begin sucking the juice from the orange,

he'll do the same to you.

If he delves his fingers into the middle of the orange and pulls the fruit apart,

he will do the same to you.

2005-09-26T00:01:00.000+08:00

useless i am, lonely i'll be
slacking at home all the way
guess i will be doing it till my enlistment day

21 years n 6 days old
makes no diff when i was 19 years old
confine to my house n parents i have
making my life miserable n tiring it seems

relationship n friendship
are two things with diff meanings

n r interlinked with one another

but both brings many unhappiness

chaos n confusion
is all i feel right now
nothing is clear
future still in a bleak
feelings are intertwined
how i wish i can just go back time
when i was young n carefree
playing my toys is all i had in my mind

i am 21.....

2005-09-24T16:20:00.000+08:00

first of all i would like to thank all of those who have send me thiers Bday wishes n dat special one for giving me a treat......Sake sushi Buffet n a great movie to go along......"Be with mi" which was one day early....

the following day i was most of the time at home unless my mom ask mi to tag along.....aniw ay went to make my specs finally bought myself a bass bag, had lunch with my mom n after dat bought my cake from HAN's. i didnt know that the cake shop dat we went near the penisula there was a HAN's cake shop till i saw the plastic bag they gave.....aniway bought a chocolate cake thingy ah which was i guess the sweetest m the best cake i have ever had(aniway for ur info my last year cake was a chocolate cake from Cold Storage which cost onli like 5 bucks hahahahahah) aniway i am still fortunate that is a cake better than having none.......

the following day had to attend the INTSC sub comm n executive bonding camp. actualli i wasnt realli dat excited about the camp seriously but i just went ah b4 dat i hang out with Ahmad at Starbucks it's been a while since i sat there.....the camp was utterly disappointing for mi coz the games were never exciting at all ani way i had to become a facilitator for the group n the name was Edna mod. The reason for asking mi to Facilitate the group was because i have a resemblance with the character itself from "The Incredibles". Was really really bored and less entertaining cause most of the campers are ppl who are waiting for things to happen rather than make things happen so yah it was really disappointing and also tiring for mi.

aniway it was finally over n yes i left the campus early at 4 to rush back home for dinner n also a movie at marina. actualli i wanted to head there straight but my dad insist mi to go home and yes it was a totally bad experince.actualli everything was in a rush n everything was not going smoothly for mi. we had a movie at 6.50 at marina but we reached there at 7.10 luckily our seats were at the side so it was not a hindrance to others watching the show but half way the show....my mom handphone rang n she was sturggling to pick up the phone. she tot dat her phone was connected to her ear piece so she tried answering using her ear piece but it wasnt working n yah it rang for like 50 secs or so which was dam loud n irritating for mi. The most irritating was that when the phone rang n yah she manage to pick it up n had a conversation on the phone with i dunno dat realli boils mi n i screamed at her with my softest voice to switch it off. aniway we watched the new jackie chan show called the myth. after the show we headed to beach road to have our dinner.

aniway i think i will be hurting someone by saying this are but recently when i watch the two shows, Be with me n the Myth there was certain part that made me feel like crying n also it reminded me of how enjoyable the times i had spent with someone. there was also a part in be with me when the husband visit her wife at the hospital reminds me of how i visited her while she was at the hospital too where she almost had a close shave of death. aniway i manage to revive my PC again which like died on me for 4 days before the camp so yah......
ok guys see u around
take care enjoy urself
wanna watch RA movies do invite me
n
ciao

a day at sentosa

2005-09-18T00:57:00.000+08:00

today was realli n hot blistering jumping plenty of activities sporty day for mi
went to sentosa n the weather was all so great for a day to be at sentosa
but the prob was dat the sand was too hot to play any activities but wat to do go against it an yah just play on the surface. ani way i felt realli realli old there coz i was like the aiyah no need to explain ah.

played touch rugby (my fav)
beach soccer
basketball( is been a long time i played dat sports which i suck)
wolleyball( hahahah is a slang ah......actuali is volleyball)

so the athlete ah mi today hahahah but lucky never had a major cramp ah......ani way the body was totally burned n not it looks like the roasted pig that the chinese prepare for thier prayers. ANi way had fun with the GODIVIANs hahaahh actualli the upcoming TPSU sub comms.......

on our way out to mainland, our group was realli cranky ah hahahah actualli we had been crank all the way ah forfeiting n asking ppl to let them use them as tricks ah from the girl in the blue top dat yasin approach to the indian national dat ivan kiss ahahhahaha yah i mean it was in the name of fun. Yah back to the bus we were like singing our way out to mainland ah n we are like seperated ah n yet we still managed to sing the song dat we all hav in mind hahahahah dan went for dinner to subway

at subway order our food n had a real good discussion about from Sec skool to Sex hhahahahha which in the end i became the Guru ahhahahaha n tot them the diff Gspots of a human being also told them my diff levels of intimacy hahahaah it was realli enjoyable n noisiable ahhahahah got such word meh hahaha aiyah nvm. yah we sat there for like n hour plus laugh our way n yah i ate a feet long of subway sandwich which is marvellously nice n i think i like italian bread ah is so soft n with the meat filling dam i am feeling hungry again ehheheheheh

ani way to all racist ppl dont care bloggers or non bloggers i admire ur courage to speak out n make urself heard though it maybe agitating but i seriously dont mind coz ur speaking out from ur own mind n will everyone has thier own say ani way is just a blog ani way is just words as long as u dont use action towards each other i am seriously fine with it. Ani way i guess all of us kinda racist ourself, some of us hate the China chinese, the india indians, the Ang mohs n all but as long as u dont show ur grudge against them i mean is totally fine. And now with bloggers under scrutiny i am just imgaining how the taxpayers moeny are being spent. just paying ppl to go thru blog n make sure every content is appropriate......ani way i guess if not for the media who started the SPG blog or the other stupid blogs i guess we will not be implying such laws here in Singapore.....n yes so much for speaking out but within our laws.......

things dat i have done for the past few days

2005-09-16T23:07:00.000+08:00

i bought myself two CDs from HMV
dats like so the first time coz i never buy CDs from there
but luckily they are cheap
so the CDs i bought were
PLACEBO once more with feelings (my CURRENT FAV BAND)
NIRVANA remastered
actualli had a tough time deciding which CD to buy
coz is either the Nirvana cd or the minor threat discography
ani way yah decided on Nirvana coz of the price
other dan dat hmmmm i never realli buy much stuff, haven been going out often except for like yesterday
reached home around 11.30pm from town where i met up my old kakis

things to buy soon or later
a DVD (hmmmm still considering wat DVD to buy, either BOB Marley, Metallica, Placebo or i dunno ah)
my Bass Bag ( till now haven buy till now)
a HP( yah now no more Hp n feeling so restless n uncontactable)
a new specs ( yah need to make my black frame old skool specs for NS)

bad bad bad bad.......

2005-09-12T21:49:00.000+08:00

these past few days have been a freaking weird unlucky close shave bad days for me n my family i guess.......
first was tricycle went missing or should i say stolen. The tricycle brings back 7 years of memories for the family from our first ride on the tricycle to the distance dat it had travelled n serve us withut failing us make it a family treasure but now is all gone......hmmmm like they say nothing last forever.
secondly, was a freaking fast event.......my dad blasted at my bro for skipping work n the whole family got a hell of a scolding my phone got confiscated, my bro suspected of dengue fever.....my mom just finish vomiting......i was nearly knocked down by a motorbike n i also nearly hit a pedestrian while was cycling wah i dunno ah alot of things have happen n i will be looking forward to the next few unfortunate events or blessing events i should call them n face it.......ani way to all my friends sorry my shalet is cancelled due to some family disagreement so yah sorry guys.....ani way the onli events that are going fine is like the recent gig i had at beat merchant, bought myself an MP3 player n is unique n handy i realli like it......n yah the best will be without my HP.....though i am not trying to say dat i forget my friends n all by not smsing them but it gives mi the cold turkey period n make me escape from the HP world n prepare mi for NS heheheehhe coz in NS i cant sms as much as i am doing now n also i cant entertain the calls too.....
ani way things i am looking forward......
18th sep gig
20th sep my simple Bday
22nd-23rd sep INTSC school bonding
outing with the gang(u guys noe who u are)
sentosa but i dunno with who
Movie outing with batman
printing my own TEE
Clubbing again

n the rest i dunno wats upcoming but i will appreciate it with open arms.......
ani way if u guys wanna contact mi do feel free to call mi at 67583057 but call b4 11pm k
coz is my house phone not my personal phone
not someones other phone
but the house phone do give some respect
when u call k
ciao Bye miss ya
take care

back back back.......by popular demand hahahahahah

2005-09-07T14:26:00.000+08:00

Hi Guys I am back again updating the blog.....actualli it has been a pretty lazy n happening week ah hehehehehhe so yah laziness is a disease but i must not let this disease overcome me. Ani way if u guys are kind worried whether i am ok or not...yah i am fine still alive n kicking n just had 2 hours of body slamming yesterday at beat merchant studio.....met a few unexpected ppl ah there n had this crazy guy stirpping down to his briefs n everyone was gigling about his crouch ahhahahaahhah guess took him great courage n actualli the person challenge mi to a personal battle of the wits to do the most outraging stunts at every gig but i guess i am not up to his mark yet.....

ani way now is the juiciest part of the blog that SOMEONE has been waiting for.......u noe who u r hahaaah so yah ummmm on wed......i went to zouk with Stacie, Yasin, Ivan, n lyah.....is been a long time dat i went clubbing (i talk as if last time i am a regular ah ) so decided hey y not just go and have a JOLLy good time.....reach there kinda early walk around with the ZoukNoobs (yasin, lyah n ivan) ani way dat day guys had 2 free drinks ah but i dunno wat to buy ah coz i drink onli n dont bother about the name ahahhahhahaah but yah ani way all thanks to stacie she bought for mi drinks which was one blowjob n had malibu pineapple. Actualli i wanted more but never mind too much will make me gaga so decided to control myself.

Met Peiqi, Sandy, the voc for social integration hahahh n a few of my frds. so the time was rite n the music was great the 4 of us hit our grooves to the dance floor (yasin ivan lyah n mi) n we had a great time dancing at the corner. but hor got tis grp of irritating small fat non attractive wear like small girl dressing girl came dancing behind mi n start pushing mi so dat she had more space for herself but hahahah too bad ah u got the wrong person ah......so while dancing it was also like a battle of who will eventually win more space kinda thingy. Ani way it was not just my grp dat was affected while dancing at dat corner.....the other group which had 2 girls n 2 butch dancing also were like squeezing coz the ugly fat small girl girl frds were also pushing them to the corner......so i like make sure dat when we dance we had dat extra space so we can sacriface some to dat group too who were affected n yah it did work........

Music was great, the grooves made are so silky i tot i was some idiot in the clouds dancing with such grace hahahah no lah actualli i felt as if i was like yogi bear hahahah coz i was in brown from head to toe in side out also ah ani way yah as i was dancing my eyes was fixed at one corner checking out this hot chick hahahahah u noe who u r ah.....i was mesmerize the way she grooved and also the smiled we xchanged ah ahhhahah so yah i told myself i needed to dance with her but at the corner i was not dat MAN enugh to approach her to dance with her so yah i just dance n also check out her grooves ah.

dan the music slowed down alittle n ivan wanted a timeout so we decided to leave the dancefloor n head down to the coffeeshop for a slack ah...dan i was like telling the rest dat i need to go n dance with the girl dat i saw at the corner n yah but when we stepped in back to the club i saw her leaving i was like Ahhhhh she left n like yasin was like telling mi eh how she went off already..... so i was kinda disappointed. but we still decided to squeeze our way back to the dance floor but it was realli pack n sucky n in the end we were like stuck near the bar area there.....

ivan was with yasin n i was with lyah n she was like holding on to my hands coz she wanted to dance but yet not lose mi kinda thingy so wat i did was i just hug her and hold her close to mi n yah dance to the music ah haahahaha ok dat was like taking advantage kinda thingy ah but i was of no harm or had ani bad intention just wanted her to groove to the music n yet not lost her way around ah so yah we dance ah n it was kinda spicy ah ehehheheeh dan after dat she appeared again.....dan lyah the girl i was currently dancing with told mi eh kai dont want to dance with her ah? my reply was i shy ah hahhahahah dan i overheard her conversation with her frd n she was like saying HUH dan i dance alone ah hahaah n dats where i came in n said hey y not i dance with u n yah she dats where we began n we dance till the end hahahahha......

after the songs ended i was like shocked to hear from her dat she was from TP n dat she is one of the few ppl who dont know who the LEGENDARY kai of TP is ahhahahha yah n also got to know she is from Design skool.....actualli ah when we exchange numbers ah heheeheheheh (never tell u this ah) i keyed in the wrong number ah dan i msg dat number giving her a thanks msg n yah but lucky she msg mi ah dan i realized shit i got the wrong number......till now we have been smsing n also msning each other......

on Sat went for movies with her watched the maid hahhah realli shocking n funny not coz of the show but she was like with her jacket ah but ani way yah b4 i met her i joined my school kakis who were slacking at MacCafe. ISkandar n Wife......Yan n Wife.....Naz n Ahmad......later fauzi join us with his wife too.......RahMAt with His wife while i was like alone ah but nvm is ok ah......used to it.

overall wat i think of this girl n by the way her name is rachel
Hmmmmmm
her tots are diff from other girls
friendly
fashionable
sweet
open minded
patient coz she always complain to mi dat she wait for her frds for 2 hours or so
punctual
Groovy
Dont like to pamper guys
doesnt like to eat alot
a BIG FAN of APPLE
n wat else somemore?
hmmmm if u r reading this maybe u can add on to wat u think u r......
ok
i think today post is like freaking long ah but hahhaha is nothing new coz most of my post is very long and also sorry this is a blog i have a freedom of expression so thus i dont like to put coma or exclamation mark or question mark often so yah if u r free u wana read it with fixed expressions dan i guess u go borrow dan brown da vinci code or devils n angels dan u read dat.........
hahahahah ok PLEASE LEAVE YOUR COMMENT if u have one......

the end of an environment and the beginning of a new

2005-08-22T16:41:00.000+08:00

Sat was a great day help out TPSU sub comm training camp and yah still haven lost the grooves that i had during the FOC. aniway after the whole event i kinda think of the effect of having me and losing me.
the good thing was whenever i was around , the atmosphere is definately great but when i leave who will take over me and how is things going to be fun. Ok i am not trying to say i am indispansable but is kinda true......
ok enugh of all the self esteem thingy
after the camp i joined in the gang at town. The gang consisted Ahmad, Fir, Naz, HXC muhsin, yan N the GF(initially but in the end she went back home and i did not manage to catch a glimspe of her) ani way yah it was realli great getting together and listening to thier blabbering thier NS stuff but it was still fruitful eventually. ani way met them at orchard building dan from there headed to plaza Singa to catch the Loo and also Yan Bought MAcDonald and yah Naz and Muhsin Left for home while the 3 of us continued our journey from plaza Sing al the way to Esplanade where we all took our respective night rider back home......it was realli fun yah and though it was tiring i guess it did not bothered me.

Sunday
Last day of work and had to work with the Siao Cha Bo for the last time. Though it was like 10 hours of endurance i guess i pass it with high flying colours hehehehe coz it felt like it was 20 hours working with her.....after work went home straight and yah slack and slack

today
slacking again later heading to MEdiaCorp to support the Singer and have to wear red colour dat looks so the EEEE ani way good luck to him later on yah.......

btw these are a few punk rock emo songs that reminded me of those days.......

DO YOUR FEET HURT
can i call you sweetheart or even baby doll? if i had your number, you'd be getting a phone call can i leave you a message on your machine? letting you know that you're the bomb and you blew up on me are you anxious to see me after your next class? do you care when i tell you step around that broken glass? can i see you after you get out of school? i won't even mind if you treat me cruel take a ride on my vespa, i'll take you home i'll climb up to your window and read you a poem i know that you believe in the one true god above and that's why you're waiting for your one and only love do your feet hurt? did you fall from heaven? 'cause you've been running through my mind all day my mind don't mind i don't know what to say or do i can't eat when i'm with you goodnight sweetheart i gotta go and you won't come to my next show

MOVE TO BREMERTON
when i meet a special girl she always lives somewhere else in the world don't want to call her on the phone wanna talk to her when i'm at home drop out of school and run away quit your job, you got a place to stay pack your bags and hitch a ride bremerton's a good place to reside move to bremerton - we'll hang out move to bremerton - we'll go all out move to bremerton - will you be mine? (move to bremerton til' the end of time) i'll change the street signs you drive down so you end up in my town i'll re-draw the maps all one by one so they all lead to bremerton drop out of school and run away quit your job, you got a place to stay pack your bags and hitch a ride bremerton's a good place to reside if you cut your hair and bleach it too you gotta know that i'll have a crush on you i'm a sucker for a short haired girl with a pretty smile she gotz to have ideas, yeah, and she gotz to have style

CHRISTALENA
cristalena, ya she's so cool cristalena, she's out of control half the time she don't know where she's at cristalena don't know much about that but you know, and i know cristalena but you know, and i know where i've seen her cristalena, she's in her own world she's always happy as a littly girl cristalen's nice unless she's annoyed cristalena happens to like boys - but not me cristalena, where'd you go? don't even know where you've been cristalena, won't you stay? please don't go away, won't you be my friend?

ani way these songs are from MXPX heheheheh
old skool
taken from LET IT HAPPEN album

thank you

2005-08-19T22:31:00.000+08:00

today is a good day.....
got an award today for CCA
finally i feel rewarded for all the shit i been thru
but wait though is did not fill up the nominations form
i guess is not the duty of us to nominate ourself to the award
furthermore all of us had to put in the same extra effort
except some ppl ani way KUDOS to those who put in the effort
to make our office term a marvellous
though they are numerous projects not closed yet
but arghhh heck care dude
coz i noe i have done my best in my area
so the rest is up to someone to clear our mess
hahhahahaa
today i met ahmad and fauzi and nazmi
as usual ahmad as cranky
fauzi as ever kool
and nazmi as ever horny
hehheheh after hearing the
sudah masuk thingy

after dat..............
went to meet up with hannah n muhsin
muhsin looks freaking slim and smaller
and hannah looks ever chirpy
ani way went to the audi met lots of ppl
who knew me
kinda happy dat ppl recognize u
after so long of absence

got my awards and i got quite an arousing cheer
heheheheh
even my parents were happy
dan went on stage to perform i guess the last TP school song that i will be singing
heheheheh it was also a last minute thingy all thanks to safahri for pulling me
yah it was realli fun and enjoyable

had dinner with family
and yah now at home
btw there are a few ppl who i was looking out today in school
there are

Sarah......(from HTM)
Emy hehheheheh u guys must be haiz wat the heck( actualli wanna godeh with her somemore ah)
Stacie my cheerful chirpy VP
Grace my lovely sweetie(but she in Australia)

these ppl are who i miss in skool and i did not get to see them ah

ok how bout ppl i miss and i manage to see them
there are

ALLLLLLL
OF
YOU
WHOM
I
MET

hehhehehehehhehe

ok enugh of bullshit and yes
ahmad i am a gay freak
wanna join mi in a mardi gras gay party in KL
hahahhahah
actualli onli in a hotel ah
i got offer next Sunday
but i am siao
if i were to go

n

tuty

the sweetie

NUS

i saw ur pic

and i am mesmerize by it

are so beautiful in nature

how i pray

u will be beautiful

in ur heart

speechless

2005-08-17T01:35:00.000+08:00

someone msg me today asking me y am i less friendly,
y am i different,
from appearance to my expression and to my feelings y has it changed

to all my friends i guess u all must be wondering y most of my blog post are boring and depressed

let me tell u straight in the face that i am not wat u see
i am not ur entertainer
i am not ur happy go lucky guy
i am never happy
i am lost in direction(no motive in life)
i am not satisfied with wat i have
i am lazy
i am a wanker who wanks 3 times a day
i am a loser in love
i am ugly
i dont have wat u call charisma, charms and looks
i am fat
i am a quiet person
i am not ur love Doctor

i am not ur smart guy with all the brains in the world

i do things to get attention

i am a timid

i fall in love to easily

i am a loser coz i never win ani thing at all

i am a devil not religious at all

there are many more so my please dont see mi as wat i am

if u think i got all the looks and charms and feelings

y do u treat mi like this

u dont even treasure mi

wat a week.....is marvellous

2005-08-16T01:06:00.000+08:00

First of all i was able to get kinky with two ladies back to back heheheh want to know more call mi but i am not going to post any of the activities in here hehehehe furthermore i was being checked out by a girl whom i told u guys previously in my post dat i regretted not asking her name and her number.

ani way since i have learnt from my mistake today i served this two ladies both of them were friends and yah one of them is like extremely gorgeous and yah she wore tudong hehehhehe her name was super cute and i kept giggling at her name. i could not take it any more i had to apologize to them about me giggling at her name because it was extremely cute. ani way yah after dat when she was about to leave i took the initiative to ask her friends name and yah in the end she too ask for my name hehheheheh...... after work i msg the cute name girl Hp heheheheh u guys must be wondering how i got her number hehehehh yah all thanks to the application form hehhehehe coz she has to input her upgrading number and yah TADA!.......

and yah btw both of them are like one year younger dan me, both of them in NUS heheheh smart girls my fetish hehheheh the cute name girl is majoring in political science while the other is majoring psychology heheheh my oh my guess i have a soft sopt for smart girls.....ani way when i msg them they were not shocked or stunned at all hehheheh guess she is a very open and friendly lady i guess.....hhehehe but when i saw her IC though she may not look attractive to some one u guys but to mi she is geeky lovely hahahhaahah i dunno how to explain dat but yah thats the best way to explain and describe about her. Haiz......this few days have been a marvellously great period of time even my X & XXgf are looking for my companion u see la....

but the after effect will be
High HP bill
coz number of sms will shoot up to like thousand
hahahhaha

Ramblings of Mine

Heheheheh.....

the true khairulnizam.........

SPETEMBERS POST

CLUBBING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

never ever ever.....

in a rush....

fish in the pond pondering about the pond

wah kao

wat i want for Valentines day....

Wonderful week.....

Wonderful week.....

......tell me......

SMILE MORE LET PPL THINK UR VERY HAPPY

*&^%$#@!@#$%^&*

................Baby i miss you...............

Hectic Mixed Emotions Week

33 THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO DO WITH YOU

something

I love you lah...but got ppl kapoh kapoh

3 mths coming up......

and counting...

wat more can i ask

wat a gig.....

X@#!$%^&!@#$%^&

a day without news from her.....

i will be missing u

13/07/06

1st July

wat do u think

I......i......I.......i

thanks guys for checking my blog out.......

haiz just missing school days

i dunno wat headline to post

is been a long time.....

y do u like someone?

Gong Xi Fa cai......

CHINESE NEW YEAR

TP Open House

MOS Outing....

i am back......

In The ArMy...

REST IN PEACE

Piss off Mood swing......

memories are wonderful friendships are beautiful

FINALLY......

just something inspirational about our world

does Singapore TV onli cater to Chinese Speaking ppl?

HAPPY BDAY RUBEN.........

Heaps of Rubbish lies memories....

life is fragile

just wondering.......

More pic of loudfest

1st day of Fasting

beginning of the fasting month

loudfest......a new level of insanity

............

COMFY FOR HORNY GIRLS UNCOMFY FOR HORNY GUYS(UNLESS UR GAY)

wat a exciting week ahead for mi

i am 21.....

a day at sentosa

things dat i have done for the past few days

bad bad bad bad.......

back back back.......by popular demand hahahahahah

the end of an environment and the beginning of a new

thank you

speechless

wat a week.....is marvellous

&^%$#@!@#$%^&