REST IN PEACE

Dear Readers
This will be the last post till i get my new computer and my new internet connection. Furthermore, i will be going NS on Friday and i will be reporting at Pasir ris at 9.45am at Pasir Ris Bus interchange.

Any way tomorrow will be the day my internet connection will rest in peace n my half dead pc will finally have a new after life with a new owner which would be a 2nd Hand dealer for PCs. I would just like to thank all of u for reading all my post n tagging at my board. If u wish to contact me do feel free to sms me at 90274940 or u can email me at chadkaikai@hotmail.com


Yours Sincerely,
Khairulnizam (kaikai)

Piss off Mood swing......

wats wrong with me

i am feeling so fuck up again

y

i tot i was fine but

here i am still stuck in some low self esteem bullshit

n with my mom non stop nagging

and the way she commands oh My it sounds like

i am one freaking Maid

GoSh is sucky to be a maid of the house

how i wish i can just get out of this shell

n just enjoy life to is best

without any restriction

y cant i just do dat

arghhhhhhh

dam it ah

memories are wonderful friendships are beautiful

yesterday was a marvellous n memorial event
though somethings did not turn out as expected like jamming
it was stilll a great day.
though i was agitated wit the cancellation of the jamming session last minute
while i was on my way down to tampines it didnt affect my mood for dat day.
Met up with Ahmad, Muhsin n Nazmi at Bedok Interchange
from there we head down to Beach Road coz Muhsin wanted to purchase his Sand bad for his weapon support.

BEACH ROAD
i dispise going down to Beach road on a weekends. Since my NCC days till now i seriously despise going there for either window shopping or even purchasing Army stuff from there. The atmosphere there is great but is just dat u will get occasional stares by other ARMY boys who are there getting thier stuffs n also show off n making a mockery of those who are aint as fit or tough looking as them. Though i am someone with high self esteem n seriously confortable with my un appropriate n undesirable body i notice the eyes glaring at me n checking my body out n from afar starts pointing n whispering to the friends about it. Frankly speaking i rather u have the guts to come up to me n say wat u wanna say about me rather dan finger pointing n bitching about me. enugh about Army Boys sure u will get to hear from me soon......so after beach road, we head to our meeting point...Kembagan Station......

Kembagan MRT Station
We were half n hour early so the two army Boy Nazmi n Muhsin went for prayers at the nearby mosque while Ahmad n I sat at the stairs n started waiting for everyone to come. While waiting, we were also wondering where is this place Mak's place at....coz we never heard of such place b4. After a hours wait, finally everyone arrive n Fauzi n his GF arrive also n he was outstanding. His dressin was like woah...coz in all my years of going out with him, the onli time i went out with him when he wore glamourously was during Dinner n Dance. Dat too wasnt as outstanding as yesterday. N so we head down to Mak's place.

Mak's place
upon reaching there a group of mat motor gang also arrive at the same time n it was realli contradicting n saddening sight. Coz everyone is with a Minah....n the minahs dont dress appropriately with tattos on thier backs while the Mats have tatoo from neck to hands. These ppl they disgrace their own names. On their ICs they are proud to put our prophets Name but their attidude n way of live disgrace the name of our prophet. Though i am not trying to say dat all of us including me is an angel but at least the very most respect the month n dress up appropriately not scantily n not showing off ur tattoos n also ur diamond wannabe shining ear studs. Ani way managed to get our seats n we place our order n waited for our food n also for break Fast. I ate fish n chips n i should say it was not as nice as i expected coz the fish meat is too thin. dan there was a Belated Bday celebration for Yana n Muhsin (sispec) n also the unexpected was dat it was also a farewell cae for Ahmad n me. The cake was great though it was kinda too big n i had to take the biggest share of the cake coz everyone had a piece of cake n i tell u it was a huge one....but thanks for all the effort n the cake n the well wishes. I really appreciated it. After having our dinner, all of us head down to geylang Bazaar.

Geylang Bazaar
At the freaking pack bazaar with abundance of ppl n sometimes irritating ppl it was really a hassle walking around. And our superstar Fauzie is getting his newly acclaimed fame with ppl asking for his photos n autograph. Aniway after walking umpteen times around the bazaar it was time to head home but it was kinda too early for me so i suggested those who wanted to continue hanging out to head down to esplanade to chill. One main reason was to just get away from so many ppl n just be around Nature. Not dat i am a naturist or something like dat but i prefer just being there after the whole walk. In the end onli Me, Ahmad n Azrian was for the idea

Esplanade
Bought ourselves drinks, tidbits n chill out n talk about our memories of school n also what impression did we had on our first sight of each other n also the rest of the gang.It was kinda soul sharing session with some of us bringing out some old times events. it was realli kool realli enjoyable n i had a real good time which i think the rest too had a god time. Ani way we made a move at 2 n yes w had nightrider to bring us back home.

I reached home at 3 in the morning......

FINALLY......

tonight was the first after a long period of confinment at home going out.

Chill out with my gang of Friends at Starbucks at Tampines Mall.

It was realli a great evening talking cork n also relating true stories

to my curious friends esp the one dat i had to translate everything in mandarin

dan she can understand wat i was trying to imply.

Any way Ahmad ur botak more shorter dan mine ahahaha ok good good

finally i get to see u botak n not have a culture shock when i go NS

Hmmm tonight was realli enjoyable n laughable with Naz n his exaggerated reactions n comments

while i was imparting my stories to them

Btw ppl who were together with us......

Fauzi n Curious Siti

Rahmat

Amy n GF n Pri 5 n Sec 1 sister

Nazmi

Ahmad

Me

Finally i am out

Finally i get to meet my frds

Finally ahmad n i feel blended with Naz(soon with the rest)

Hmmmm

ani way these are the frds i need to plan out who to go out with next week.....

Nurain(Makan n chill)
Trena(Makan n chill)

Rachel(everything under the sun)

Hxc Kids (sara, XyX members)

Stacie n Yasin(everything under the sun n the moon)

Diyanah (if she wanna go out with mi)(Makan)

Nisa(Makan n Movie)

*Names mentioned above have no priorities

Ani way if u think ur name should be included do feel free to tag ur name n i will make time for u for this upcoming week.

just something inspirational about our world

whats the world going to be

when peace is not what we see

fights taking place everywhere

our peace is taken too lightly

anger and hate is what all feels

life is full of negativity

we are born with a peaceful mind

why must we corrupt mankind

with violence preached all the time

wasted lives are sacrifaced

life is not as easy as it seems

why must we add more difficulties

torturing ourselves to insanity

confine within the living of suffering

eventually

the smell of hate will intoxicate the anger

n arouse the beast within us

This write up is about wat our world has become from a peaceful with just beautiful nature surrounding us, it has become more violent, more destructive towards nature n towards ourself. Everyday lives are lost with the help of modern technology of weapons n chemicals that are within our boudaries.The existence of human being will further deterioate cause hate and vengence is filled in our heads n mind not love n peace. Soon we will be living in a warzone of which we create ourselves so DO make a difference by forgiving those who have angered u n offended u n make this world a better place to live.

does Singapore TV onli cater to Chinese Speaking ppl?

is realli freaking piss off to see channel U n Channel 8 coming up with so many fucking variety shows for entertainment. From Super Host to Finding historical sites in Singapore....fucking dam it onli Chinese speaking audience are interested is it? On Channel 5 hmmm lets see wat do we have.....some fucking boring sitcom show n yah some fucking american series dats is fucking bored. N whenever i change to Channel 8 or channel U there is non stop educational channel educating the youths on historical sites, games shows, n Talent searching shows. i do wonder is Singapore media just for the Chinese just because they are the majority?

Yesterday night i happen to switch channels n i saw this variety show. it's called get it right....the main motive of the show is to educate ppl on using proper mandarin n not using slang. If they are able to use these media to educate the mass y cant they use it to educate the english speaking on Singlish. There u go saying we must educate ppl not to use Singlish but there u are not making the effort to promote it.

any way today i have cut/shave my head n is freaking short. Hmmm i realli miss my long hair n i realli sayang my hair very much. Just now when i finish cutting my hair i manage to get a few strands of my hair n hold tight n close to my heart n drop it down to the floor. it was realli a heartfelt event for mi coz i dont think i will ever keep such long hair ani more coz i am going to be a TEACHER after NS. Hehheheheh ani way i also have photos to keep for reference heheheheh so yah....laugh n smile n touch my hair when u see mi next time coz is all short n sharpy now.....

HAPPY BDAY RUBEN.........

HAPPY BDAY TO U RUBENAS.........

to those who are thinking who is rubenas, he is my bro my second youngest Bro.

Ani way i got tag board alrady.....do feel free to tag

no cost no hidden agenda just tag for free.....

hmmm lets see wat am i having for my Break Fast.

oh.....Fried spagetti n Rojak Bandung.....

My oh My dats so.....ok nvm

ani way i will blog later on

now onli brief blog

see ya later again.....

Heaps of Rubbish lies memories....

while i was clearing my own stuff from my drawer i discovered a notepad n has a few scribbles of poems for my Xgf. I guess the poem or i should say write up coz it does not rhyme dat well is in collaboration for our upcoming 3rd month together but it didnt turn out dat well so i guess i never had the chance to let her read. Any way i shall share it with all my frds n if u think is nice do feel free to pass it on to soomeone u love.....

Two months gone in a swift of time

and here we are holding hands like there's no time

many obstacles we face ahead

quarrel will appear when we get agitate

that does not mean is the end of everything

but a true test for what we have given in

sacrifaces we made towards each other

the love we gave to one another

though jealousy arises all the time

making it our enemy of our life

but we will work together hand in hand

to get rid of this fella as quickly as we can

sorry if i make u teary when we are together

for all i know that is a tear of love from u

while i will still be here continue loving u

till i cant wake up to see the next morning dew

I think this write up was written while i was at work at OCBC......at dat point of time while i was free i keep thinking of writing such writings for her to keep but too bad she aint mine now so i guess i can rest now till the next lover arrives n i can crack my head to think of better writings ahead.

life is fragile

just got back from hospital....
one of my cousin is realli sick
lets pray for her recovery
n yes may god bless u in the hereafter

to all those ppl i made promises today
i am so sorry i couldnt make it
n to Diyanah so sorry i cant give u any treat
coz tmr i have to go back to the hospital

HAPPY BDAY TO U DIYANAH

may u forever stay cute pretty n sweet

n may u forever remember the days

where u keep beating my hand til it was red

n also irritating me yet entertaining me

n finally all the best to ur relationship

may u be sayang by the one dat sayang u

just wondering.......

After my dinner i sat down to watch this show on Channel U. The show was about finding your old Lovers n see how they are doing now. It was really a joyous yet teary event for many of us. N when i was watching i drift into my own world n wonder wat it would be if i was still 45 years old single n yah i participated in such a program to find all my all friends n lovers. Haaahahhaha i will surely cry leh......esp to see so many ppl so successful in life with family and kids. Although i dunno wat will happen to me 30years down the road but now as i look back at my memories n i think of my 1st GF dat i had to, the one dat i really love and yet i broke off with her in sec skool till the most recent one. I seriously find myself a failure in loving someone with all my heart. I dunno how n i dunno y but i seriously think i am the one who is the problem with the breakup. Though i have move on with life n forgotten about the incident, but when i think back it just felt that is just happen yesterday n all the remorse n regret i feel is so strong. To all those ppl whom i have loved once or express my love for u in any way i sincerely hope that u will forgive me and may u all have the greatest love n adventure in the upcoming years n even though time has past, events have been memories, in my heart there is still some love for u.......

Love is a strong word

it keeps two ppl together

it helps bring memories

it provides warmth n comfort

it creates joy n laughter

it creates a sense of well being

though i have expressed my words for u

it still lingers in my heart

for wat ever i say is true

times has past

relationships broken

communication gone

ur smile so wide

ur eyes so sparkling

ur hug so warmth

ur kisses so tender

buries deep down

into my heart n brain

whenever i express my love

for u

the cries u made

the pleads u beg

the hurt u suffer

the misery i offered

please forgive me

for i have done wrong

forget about mi

carry on living

while i turn over

into a new leaf

but u were there

once loved

n u will forever be

loved

this mini write up was

for all my Xgfs , future gfs n to my Wife

More pic of loudfest

My Back View........ArGhhhh i see G String.....

is dat guy trying to grope my breast?

how do i look from the front n check out the bulge.....

Oh My God is dat a real Longkang or wat?
Finally a view of my G string Sexy ah....
Battle of sexiness N some free touchy session......


pictures all courtesy of Norman TSS

1st day of Fasting

I guess it was a pretty smooth day for me today for fasting.

but the whole day i was irritated by my parents especially my mom

order mer to do so many chores for me to do as if i am like the maid of the house

had to do the prawns, fold the clothes( is like one week supply of clothes) bring in the clothes, wash the dishes, prepare the food for break Fast furthermore still ask mi to start packing the room. i was wondering how to pack when u got so many things dat u want to keep but i dunno which one is it. Furthermore i am like the onli one in the house working non stop. My Mom just sits outside watch TV n just cook dats all. in the evening she just sit infront of the tv an iron the clothes while i had to clear the whole kitchen for her.

wats worst is my mom keep nagging about my constant usage of the PC like hello i onli got like the 19th of this month to use after dat the service will be terminated so wats the big hooHaa and also i left how many days dan after dat i cant use the PC as much as now already cause i am in NS.

Haiz seriusly dont understand ah but wat ever it is i got a few photos from the gig on the 2nd Oct check mi out

See me at the side there with the bikini top i was preparing to strip down to my hot pants........

dats Me at the side again with Idli from secret 7.
For ur info the guy half naked is a prison warden aint he kool......

u see the guy in briefs? he is the masterhood of stripping naked. He occasionally stripped down to his briefs n run around half naked with briefs but we are still deciding to totally strip naked coz currently at the moment we are feel insecure with the length n the size of our penis.
BTW these are the brothers of the outrageous clan idli, Shai n Mie

Aniway there are many more pics dat i am awaiting for. But the one dat i hope to get is the one where someone will snap the pic of my G string hope i can get that are
HOPE U ENJOY THE PICS

pictures all courtesy of Clement the Punk

beginning of the fasting month

ok tmr will be the 1st day of fasting which I am not really looking forward to it.
Coz during this month i have to be very busy coz i need to pack my house stuff to prepare for the house renovation which will be after HARI RAYA. Thus i will be the onli soul who will be doing the packing of the whole house. And furthermore is very sickening to pack half way n u cant decided which things are to throw or not coz it does not belongs to mi n have to keep asking my parents whether to keep it or not. Sometimes wat maybe thrash to mi is supposingly to be useful stuff for my parents which i hate that coz they dont use it at all n i still have to pack it. Also with this packing, i dont think i will have time to hang out or go out ith any of my friends. Haiz is realli sucky, b4 going NS ur just stuck at home with so many things to do all by urself dan once ur in NS there u go again doing the silliest stuff ever imagine. Aiyo y cant i just go out n enjoy n slack n sit ack n enjoy nature at it's fullest. Realli demoralising leh......

loudfest......a new level of insanity

today had a gig at substation.

the gig suppose to start at 2 but yah somehow it got delayed n it started at 4

my band was the 4th band to perform for the gig so yah i came on time just to see the 3rd band finish off their 2nd last song.

Actualli is one of the best metalcore bands in Singapore ah DEAD by SIX though i onli listen to them at gigs but they never fail to make me headbang with such heavy grooves. though i dont realli like the vocs with high pitch (This is not a personal attack) which i rather have it with the heavy low growling tone i seriously like the sound. Any way once they finished their set it was time for thrashing dancing jumping sing along session with my band yogyakarta. i started of the set by taking out my top where i was wearing a Bikini top but as the sets get hotter with more ppl more energetic i strip down to my hot pants. it was mesmerizing intoxicating with all the girls eyes bugling at u n giggling at ur set, guys getting all touchy with ur ass comments flying around n yah GodFather was stripping down to his briefs again n idli from secret 7 half naked with a feathery shawl hahahahahha it was wild n mad n it seems dat we are in the gay party. There were some visitors who were supporting another band n never attended such gigs were totally amused n yah i really enjoyed the attention the eyes on u kinda stuff n ppl smiling at u. But the sad thing was i injured my leg during yesterday gig. i didnt know how i injured my feet but yah it was realli painful by the time i finished my set i was realli limping as if i sprain my ankle.

any way i am trying to get pics of myself for the gig n if all goes well i will post the link for u guys to check out how i look like

Hardcore is about how u potray urself is not about wat music u listen

............

yesterday my bro went out for a gathering with all his former colleagues which is mine but the organizer never invite me so yah i didnt like the idea of gatecrashing such an event coz i am not the thick face after all although i have done many undesirable act in public but i onli do it in the name of fun n entertainment. Any way we left the house together with our parents assumption that we were out together but in real fact we were all on our own. My Bro headed down to Selegie while i was left with nothing to do n no one to hang out with so i decided to take a walk. i alighted at city hall n i walk the whole of the CBD area tilll i reach the Rainway train station decided to walk all the way till i almost reach Telok blangah dan i decided to stop n head back to city hall esplanade there. At esplanade, i just sat there alone n daze into the cloudy sky n the not attractive scenic dat every visitor assume dat is so attractive dat they have to take it as thier back ground. Ani way yah...i sat there all alone for like 2 hour or so n yah after dat decided to meet my bro at Selegie. So i from esplanade i walk all the way to selegie there. It was kinda near for mi ah but considering after walking like from city hall to Telok blangah n fro it was kinda tiring ah but it felt good. At selegie i watched my Godsister n my bro n one more of thier colleague played pool with two of my godsister friends ah. Sat there for like half n hour or so everyone wanted to go home so my bro n i walk back to city hall just to take a bus back home.

We Finally reached home n it was 5 in the morning.

today went to my cousin house for house warming at Jurong. I really like her house coz it is so simple n empty yet a classic design. though the house could not accomodate her uncles n aunties n her friends i guess it doesnt matter coz the house is very nice indeed. At her place one of my uncle Demostrated the Diamond water Fucking bullshit thing. It sounds so the amazingly like making ur facial better providing nutrients for the skin good for hair n food. Cook in food it will enhance the smell, soak fruits n veg in the water will make it more crunchy n fresher. to me is all bullshit. how enhance can food become, how does fruits get crunchier when wat u all consume is chemical chemical n more chemical. Wat u drink is chemical from mineral water where they assume is from the mountain of evain are just pure bullshit, Coke Pepsi sweet drinks all contain chemicals, the food u consume have insecticide, growth enhancement chemicals n not forgetting when u cook u use the teflon wok or non stick cooking materials to cook, the spatula u use is made of parts glue together, chances of glue melting n getting into ur food is so high so wat u talking about making things fresher. Or wait are we talking about longetivity? y the sudden obsession of all these ideas..making urself look good, eat healthy, drink pure good water.......wat the fucking bull....i guess this is the main reason dat ppl get so obsesse about but let mi ask u do u noe how long u will live, when will u die, when will u give birth? eat so healthy n yet get crush under the lorry wheel, eat so healthy n yet get struck by lightning hahahaah u see wat i mean...y eat so healthy n yet there are so many factors to consider to make u die so i dont understand the need n obsession of growing old n heathy.Ani way after dat i went off go the mini gig at beat merchant. it was realli as usual thrashing good energetic session where we excuted many moves but i needed to rush off after the mini gig to collect so barang barang from my Grandma house at Tanjong pagar. After collecting went home in the train i saw many malay tough guy with tattoos half colour unattractive tattoos using chinese ink n many types of guys dunno where they heading too but yah in my mind was the big deal about being a tough guy? the manly u are the more chicks u get to fuck hahaahh hello i can tell u one thing malays guys most of them are fucking dickless dont have the guts to approach a girl n also need to do things in a group not independant. Ok back to the topic y tough guy? y in the world do we need tough guy we keep emphasizing make peace not war if is peace y have tough guys y do we have tough guy like Mr Bush administration, y have tough guys trying to fight for pride, y have tough guys who are not tough but act tough y must we have such stupid idiots in our society n destroy the peace of our society by fighting n showing off who is more powerful stronger n mightier......fuck u tough guys.

finally i just have to say dat i hate my life rite now so much for being 21 when ur not even treated one. so much for the 21 years n couting of staying at home n listeining to PAPA MUMMY. Fucking fuck up.....y is life like dat where is the simplicity of life when someone reaches a age let him go..... where is the fun in life when all u do is work hard to get more n more money.....where is the love when love is all about possesion in life.....